So I did blog about this before in the topic called The Black Jezebel but I was speaking in general, overall terms but let me get just a bit more intimate with you guys. As African women, I feel as though we are taught to be traditionalists, cook, clean, do wifely duties, date and marry our own, yet African Men can date whomever they want without having any terrible consequences. So I just wanted to get out of this conditioned mindset of mine and try to find love outside of African men.
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So just a DISCLAIMER, I know and understand that not all white men want black women just to fulfill their fantasies and not all white men are crazy or stalkerish. These are just two experiences that really put me off but I am still open to finding love in whatever form and colour it comes in.
So when I put myself out there on this dating site, I said to myself I will be open and date outside my race. Now I have never dated outside my race and my preference has always been African men. I have never been attracted to men of other races the way I am attracted to African men. So the first date I had from this free online dating site was a white Irish man 31 years old who was in Australia on holiday. The first date we had afternoon tea at a nice quiet cafe, he was funny, interesting and such gentleman. We had an awesome connection and we decided we would go on a second date, the date was really lovely, we went to dinner around my area then we went for a walk at the park. So we decided to sit in the car and talk and that's when the whole "black booty" fantasy came out. I was quite frustrated and upset and asked to be dropped off at home. I never heard from him ever again and his silence left me questioning was he really wanting to know me or was I just a fantasy he wanted to fulfill?
I dated another white Australian man also 31 years old. I found him very attractive and we had the best connection, we went on 5 dates in one week, and I was actually starting to think, he could be the one. This man indicated to me that he only date black women and was only attracted to black women. Of-course my radar went off but he never made me feel like some sort of fantasy but I was still quite alert. After that week he wanted to stop dating because he felt that I wasn't ready to commit which was fair enough, but I guess I didn't give him the response he wanted. I accepted it and wished him luck and then all of a sudden he went from being a great guy to a scary stalker. He kept sending me messages constantly that I had to block him on social media, unfortunately my phone did not have a block feature so he was contacting me on my mobile. I was quite confused as he was so persistent yet he was the one who chose to stop things. I eventually started talking to him again to resolve things and then it came out that he was only wanting to have a sexual relationship and because I wouldn't give him that, he just lost it. I eventually changed my number and got off all dating sites just to avoid him. I was also terrified for a few weeks as he knew where I lived and thought I would one day find him at my house.
Anyway, I have not been able to date outside my race since, and of-course two bad experiences doesn't mean everyone is like that but I was done and I might re-evaluate at a later date.
Please let me know what your online dating experiences have been like or what you guys think about dating outside of one's race.