Do you think everyone needs a guru? I’m not talking about merely a teacher or an expert in a particular field. I’m speaking more along the lines of a spiritual guide- an inspirational source.

When speaking of the need for a guru, Ram Dass suggests that “Despair is the necessary prerequisite for the next degree of consciousness.”

Despair?! Well, I’d love to say that, ” I’m all set.” ” No need for a guru over here.”  “This girl’s good.” ” Be on your way, now.”  But, I would be lying.

Since childhood I have experienced physical and emotional traumas, addiction, and loss. But none of these experiences have brought me to my knees like Lyme Disease has.

Everyone who loves me is effected by this ( which I feel terrible about).

Lyme has held me upside down by the ankles, and shook me- stripping me of all my armor, all my ideas of who I am, all my well laid out future plans.

It has broken me emotionally, physically and financially.

I picture myself standing barefoot in the middle of deserted highway, with my Pant Pockets Turned inside out, hands in the air, screaming- “WTF just happened?!” “Where am I ?” “Who am I?” “Where do I go from here?”

I picture myself standing barefoot in the middle of deserted highway, with my pant pockets turned inside out, hands in the air, screaming- “WTF just happened?!” “Where am I ?” “Who am I?” “Where do I go from here?”

I have always been a fighter. When I was about 5 years old, my father gave me my first boxing lesson in the backyard. After teaching me the proper way to make a fist (thumb on the outside-not the inside Jessica Lynne!), my father told me the best place to punch someone after you pinned them down was between the nose and the upper lip so you could get them bleeding in two spots with one punch. It was kind of a two birds, one stone approach to school yard fighting.

There are days where I really, REALLY want to punch Lyme in between the nose and upper lip. But, I know better these days.

Lyme is teaching me how to find my real inner strength. Not strength that comes from fists and anger. But rather, strength that comes from LOVE, presence and trust.

A strength that comes from remembering that a label, title, award, or occupation is not who I am.

Lyme is my GURU.

So, if despair is the necessary prerequisite for the next degree of consciousness- here I am with fist unfolded.

Love, Joy, Truth, Gratitude-

The post Do You Guru? appeared first on Lessons in Love and Lyme.