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8 simple rules

1. Do not go Clothes Shopping if you are already inexplicably feeling depressed.

2. Do not go clothes shopping if you are hideously overweight.

3. Do not go clothes shopping in "The Basement" section of Myer, which is designed for
hip young things, plays irritating music, and has lighting so low you can barely see the clothes you're perusing.

4. Do not trust size tags; most are deliberately undersized, presumably just to make you feel even fatter than you actually are.

5. Do not drag your boyfriend along on your expedition, lest you treat him like a bitch and end up hating yourself even more as a result.

6. When finalising your purchases, ensure the doped-out teenage staff-member removes all the security tags, lest you have to traipse all the way back to the counter five minutes later, after setting off the alarm.

7. Do not exit via the normal Menswear section, lest you see a whole bunch of other nice, well-priced items, and begin to doubt your own purchases.

8. Wait until you arrive home before you start crying, especially if you are a grown man, lest your fellow tram commuters assume you to be some kind of fat, pathetic weirdo.

~~~~~~~

Guess how many of these rules I broke today!



This post first appeared on The Munkey Can Type, please read the originial post: here

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8 simple rules

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