Hi everyone. 

It has been a while since my last update. Sorry for the silence. Truth is, I’ve not had the confidence or energy to write. Every day has been a battle recently. 

I have been struggling with agoraphobia. 

I rarely leave the house and if I do, it’s literally just outside our block. Even that is hard. 

As you can imagine, it doesn’t just have an impact on me, but my family too. James needs to do the shopping, pick Sophie up from school and take them to their clubs. I hate knowing that during the summer holidays, they won’t get the days out with me that they want and deserve. 

Being anxious every day is brutal and exhausting. 

I am getting counselling but it’s going to be a long road to recovery. 

I’ve been feeling so ashamed and feel James and the kids deserve better but then I remember I didn’t ask for this, I didn’t make it happen.