I sense a deep spiraling downhill towards this particular webpage of Mine. Not a blog anymore but more of a report of my weekly feelings via routine. I don't know, it seems like these brain compartments of mine can't work out ideas. In short I lack the imagination probably cuz of laziness. Too much gaming and less on socializing really makes it harder to come up with quicker words to communicate. At least I pointed that myself, as well as the frustrations built up within me for the past few days. Doctor said I could lay off on fluxotine, leave it for days before deciding whether to continue them. I did as told but couldn't keep up with my brain departments. Last week, I yelled at mom because I can't locate my only bra, and the urgency made me lose my cool. Which I apologized later on for the quick temperament.

It's like I'm still so baked out from the Bangkok trip. Everyday, I've been researching on my next upcoming trip despite the fact that I have no purchasing power no more. Mom has been ordering me to handover the passport for fear that I might "do something stupid" again. But.. I can't. Fact is I want to stop school for awhile and travel with or without savings. I want to be alone with myself forever and ditch whatever Singapore has to offer me. Which is none for the fact. High cost of living, competitive jobs against foreigners and studying just to compare against one another's grade so that she could show off. 

My Kokoro has been feeling sick these days, no one in the family but me identified the problem. Recently she's shaking her head really bad, instilling that something is wrong with her ears. There are sticky white mucus like yellowish substances at her inner ear. It made a watery swishy sound whenever she shake her head. Tried using cotton bud dip in ear wash to get rid of those things but to no avail. Then Kokoro gets really weary and weak throughout the day. Gonna take her to the vet soon. I fear for her old age, Fuck I can't lose anyone anymore.