My DNA

I’d always considered to be a bit different to my peers. But I cared too much about what others thought of me to do anything about it. I always wanted to stand out through exceptional performance…. but rarely did the work to realise my undoubted potential.

I didn’t have the balls to stand up for what I believed in.

I was lucky to have a healthy mind and body, an above average academic intellect, and pretty good sporting ability. But I only took the potential so far before stepping back. It took me 20+ years to figure out why. And it was only a heated argument and a few home truths thrown my way from my ‘ex’ did the penny finally drop….

I FEAR(ED) REJECTION. I FEAR(ED) FAILURE…. In a big way.

 

Me, The Stereotypical Conformist

I grew up in Bolton….a large town in the north west of the UK. I had a relatively stable up-bringing. We never moved house. Great schools. OK holidays. My father left home when I was 13. Never to be seen again (by me anyway).

From an early age I was conditioned to conform to what society expected….

• go to school
• get good grades
• head off to college, and then university
• find a job
• start at the bottom and work my way up the corporate ladder
• earn an average wage, but an average house, drive an average car

but above all else….

• avoid RISK at all costs

And I conformed so very well. I was an expert at being the star pupil…. at school, at sport, and at work. I was your stereotypical conformist.

But it didn’t sit well with me. It never felt right…. Despite what most would consider a successful and happy childhood, I was coasting. I was bored. I never really new what I wanted OR where I wanted to take my life. Football was my only real passion, and I successfully screwed that up (find out how below). Everything else that I was aware of on the employment front looked pretty boring… and at that point in my life, I didn’t have a clue about the possibilities of entrepreneurship.

I started to ask the right questions.

Why should we all be destined to a life a life of mediocrity and ‘average-ness’. Surely there had to be something more?

All around me…. on the TV, in the papers, and on my trips into town, I’d see people who appeared to be crushing it.

They were driving the flash cars, sporting designer clothes, and living in big, fancy pants houses. But it wasn’t really the monetary side of things that appealed to me. Rather it was the fact that these guys were living their lives exactly how they wanted to.

Isn’t that what we all want? Isn’t that the ultimate freedom? It was for me.

They weren’t rebels in the typical sense of the word….. they weren’t causing trouble, they weren’t wreaking havoc or breaking the law. They were rebelling against the system. Everything they appeared to do was counter-intuitive. To me that was cool.

 

How to Become Remarkably Average

Despite that inner desire to be a new-age rebel, I somehow managed to end up doing stuff that I had absolutely no desire to do. No-one else’s doing. My fault entirely.

Things started well…. I was a talented footballer, and signed as a schoolboy with Bolton Wanderers when I was only 14 (and to this day still remains one of my proudest moments).

I played football 7 days a week, 365 days a year, and would probably have played every minute of every single day had a I not needed those ‘essentials’ like sleep and food.

For the first time in my life, I wasn’t doing what people expected of me or wanted from me. It was my first taste of rebellion. It felt good.

The folks at school didn’t like it though. A talented academic shouldn’t be wasting his time on a football field. It wasn’t going to lead to anything useful was it! That’s what they kept on telling me…. With those kind of comments constantly being drilled into me, it was hardly surprising that they ended up being damn right…. especially with my incredible desire to seek validation from others.

Then it went to shit…. literally.

I got complacent. And that, combined with a pretty serious back injury suffered at age 15, meant that I never got past the semi-pro level in my 20s. That one single action of me signing schoolboy forms at 14 …. that was me thinking I’d already made it.

Little did I realise that should have been the moment where the work really started….

• look after my health and fitness
• attend every single training session (can you believe I hardly ever went!)
• listen to the advice of the pro’s that I was surrounded by

It was the first of many missed opportunities. I was afraid of doing the work. I was afraid of putting myself out there…. afraid of putting my reputation on the line…. afraid of someone telling me I wasn’t quite good enough to make it as a professional footballer. No-one ever wants to hear that. So I made sure I never did!

And instead of finding another passion, or putting my talents into something I love doing, I did what most other guys do….. I became remarkably average.

 

The Semi-Successful Academic Years and The Corporate World

Disillusioned with my flirtations as a sportsman, I went to university. The academic stuff was always a little easy for me….

I did okay for the six years it took me to get a PhD. I ended up actually enjoying the research side. The ‘technical geek’ in me enjoyed nothing more than pouring over technical papers for hours on end in the university library. Shame I didn’t connect the dots back then and take my technical research skills and apply it to a subject I enjoy, e.g. nutrition. So easy in retrospect.

Missed opportunities….

Instead, I took the easy option. The low-risk route. I took a corporate job. My old teachers and family were happy anyway.

What a dick!

I went in with high expectations of men and women striving to reach the top, pushing themselves, and making the world a better place.

What I got was a group of chumps waiting for their monthly pay cheque, counting down the hours until 5:00pm every day, and basing their worth on how wasted / pissed / drunk they got on a Friday night down the local.

So it was time to get my shit together and move on, right? Not quite!

10 years later…. I’d accepted mediocrity.

I was still there, still with the same people, who were still waiting on their wages (now they were a little higher), still counting down to the end of the day (which was ow a good hour later, as they’d traded time for money), and instead of weekends getting pissed, it was trips to Ikea and visits to the in-laws to look forward to.

Magical stuff.

What the f*@! was I doing with my life?

 

My Brief and Miserable Foray into the Financial Markets

By my mid-thirties, I’d finally realised that there had to be something better…. I became interested in ways to generate additional income…. perhaps one day replacing my corporate salary so I could quit. That sounded cool, but didn’t have a clue how to do it.

I was good with numbers at school, so I figured that the financial markets and might be the perfect fit.

I thought wrong. I was useless.

I soon realised that trading the markets meant mastering my emotions. I couldn’t do it. When trades were going the wrong way, it was difficult to acknowledge that I was wrong. And when the trades were going my way (on the very few occasions), I always pulled the plug too soon.

It was a difficult time. It was painful to acknowledge that I wasn’t cut out for the markets. And I didn’t have a bottomless bank balance either.

I reluctantly quit. Wise decision.

 

“Ah, the internet. Now There’s a Fail-safe Way to Make Money”

Like any desperate close-on-middle-aged guy, I decided that the internet was the way I was going to make my fortune and live my dream life.

I created an online language learning platform…. and started to make money.

I did pretty well. I built my own website. I got traffic through PPC and SEO. I made sales. I was even profitable. I had my very own profitable 5-figure business. The trouble was…. I HATED IT!

After months of spinning my wheels working more hours online than I was in the day job, yet making mess money, I decided to quit. I pulled the plug. The business. The website. The language program ceased to exist.

Bottom line was that I felt like a fraud. I knew f*@! all about language learning, and here I was trying to teach others how to do it. Hardly authentic.

It wasn’t all bad, however. I learned quite a lot…. especially about this whole online business thing – sales copy, funnels, blogs, PPC, email autoresponders, social media, etc.

I just needed to find my niche.

 

The Day of the Rebel Male

I thought back to my early days….

And I realised that the younger version of me would look at the current me with a look of disdain, and give him a mouthful of abuse for conforming to mediocrity.

I thought about the opportunities I’d missed or let pass me by…. an what I’d do if I could go back to my early twenties and have my time again. Dangerous game I know. No regrets, right!

There’s no doubt I would have started my own business. Leave a legacy. I’d want to help guys live life on their terms. Break free from their current life of miserable mediocrity…. how to be a better man in health, business, relationships and life. It would knock conventional wisdom on the head once and for all.

So that’s what I did…. and Rebel Male was born.

 

The Future of Rebel Male

To be honest, I haven’t got a clue what the future of Rebel Male holds. But in reality, it doesn’t matter. I just know that whatever direction it wants to take, I’m going to let it.

I care about Rebel Male. I care about helping other guys becoming the best version of themselves. Being counter-intuitive…. it’s the only way.

It feels right. There’s too many guys who have settled…. they’ve succumbed to a life dictated to by others. They’re not being authentic to themselves.

There’s young guys wandering aimlessly through life without clear direction but with a level of expectation…. and entitlement.

I see middle-aged guys who’ve literally given up on life. They’re slowly dying…. in their careers, health and their relationships. Life has just become one huge burden. Everything has become a chore.

If this is you, I dare you to stop being soft on yourself. Get real.

Differentiate or die. Live life on your terms. Set your own rules. Do magical things. Make stuff happen. No more missed opportunities….

I’M ALL IN…. ARE YOU?

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