Have you ever seen an attractive girl from across the room and wanted to talk to her but you didn’t even know where to begin? Or maybe you’ve been in a relationship and accidentally drove a partner away because you were self-conscious or insecure. This all stems from a lack of Confidence. Confidence is something everyone wants, but few people truly have. It looks so easy on those we admire, but when we actually try to feel confident ourselves, it just doesn’t happen.

Feeling self-conscious takes a big toll on your life. It holds you back in relationships and in your career. It keeps you from speaking up in your office and from talking to that cute girl at the bar. It’s what holds you back in everything you do, and if you want to actually manifest what you want, you need to make a change. This change starts with the art of self-confidence.

Confidence isn’t just wearing the clothes which express who you truly are (though that helps!) or magically knowing the right things to say. It’s a profound change in thinking that you can actually teach yourself. Self confidence comes with the pleasant, conscientious feeling that how you act towards yourself and other people is right.

Once you learn the art of self-confidence, you’ll be prepared to take on literally everything. Yes, you can actually manifest what you want!

Are you ready to make a real change? The art of self-confidence isn’t something that can be magically learned overnight. It’s a process, and it takes time like anything in life. If you’re ready to put in the work, let’s get started with the art of self-confidence and manifesting what you want in life.

Step 1: Examine Your Self-Image

Self-confidence is born from your self-image. This is simply how you see yourself. If you’re struggling with anxiety about yourself, you need to seriously examine your self-image. Most people feel a lack of self-confidence when they don’t think they’ve lived up to their self-image.

It’s worth asking yourself if your self-image really come from your heart or it is rather a projection of what the society wants from you? Who am I and how I want myself to evolve? That’s the question with which we should being our journey to self- development.

Even if you think you understand your self-image, there probably things which are not entirely clear to you. Like most poor behavioural patterns,low self-esteem and other related problems, come from pressure at home when you were growing up or even just one poor experience. It’s worth facing them in the way which works the best for you. Devote a quality time to think about or write down your bad experiences which you think may hold you back from becoming who you want to be. Often it’s worth talking to someone about your insecurities.

What we often don’t realize is your self-image isn’t some fixed, unchanging thing. It’s completely up to us. It doesn’t matter who you were in high school or college. It doesn’t matter who you were yesterday! What matters is who you want to be today, and how you can actually achieve this self-image. Projecting a positive, confident self-image will lead others to actually see you this way!

Step 2: Detox from Social Media

The Telegraph reports that people spend, on average, over an hour and 40 minutes on social media each day.That’s a lot of time scrolling Instagram and mindlessly clicking through Facebook. While you might think this habit is harmless, it does more harm than you think. Sure, looking at Instagram models clad in multi-piece Sexy Costumes is a fun way to get excited for Halloween, but this habit takes a toll on your mental health.

Social media basically trains you to compare yourself to everyone you come across on your phone screen. That old roommate from college? Suddenly you wonder how he got so lucky. Your ex-girlfriend’s new boyfriend? Is he better looking than you? This is the spiral this bad habit will take your thoughts if you don’t detox.

One of the best ways to improve your mood and your confidence is to take a break from social media. Stop feeling anxious and depressed and take control of your life. You’ve probably forgotten how to entertain yourself without social media, but it’s easier than you think. Watch a movie, binge a new Netflix show, or just read a book. I know, I know, these things aren’t as addicting as the thrill of a new “like” or flipping through InstaStories. Remember, if Kim Kardashian can take a break from social media, so can you.

Step 3: Set Goals

Confidence doesn’t just come from knowing who you are, but from knowing where you’re going. Set goals and take steps to actually achieve them. Psychology Today claims setting goals (and reaching them) is key to building your self-confidence. It’s not enough to set big goals and call it a day. First, you need to break your goals into smaller, manageable steps. Then, you have to create a schedule for achieving each of these steps. Every action you take towards your goals will mean another boost to your confidence!

Let’s say you want to land a new job. You can easily break that into a lot of different steps. Your first step might be to work on your resume. Then, you might reach out to old references to look for new contacts in your industry. Finally, you’ll apply for jobs and go to interviews. With each step, you can mentally pat yourself on the back for your efforts. It doesn’t matter how small or large your steps are. They mean you know where you’re going and how you’ll get there!

Step 4: Get Out There

Do you notice you feel worse about yourself when you’re at home doing nothing? It’s not just you. Feeling worse about your confidence when you’re bored is a pretty normal thing, and it’s easy to fix. If you’re busy living life to its fullest, you won’t have time to feel down on yourself. Get out and see the world however you prefer. If you like to work out, go on hikes, bicycle rides with friends or get a gym membership. If you like to travel, visit new places, even if they’re in your own town.

The more you experience, the more confident you’ll be. As you taste a bit of what life has to offer, especially things outside your comfort zone, you’ll feel empowered to take on every day and every challenge. Stop living your life behind set borders and free yourself to take charge! Is there something you’ve always wanted to try? There’s no time like the present!

Step 5: Finishing Touches

Your final step to the art of confidence is putting on the finishing touches. These are the little things you can do every day to really feel your best. Remember, everyone has good and bad days. Even the most famous, confident-looking celebrities have bad days. Just push on through the bad days and keep trudging towards your goals! Here are some small things that will add to your daily confidence.

Stand Up Straight

Yes, your mom was right. Posture is important! It’s not just about looking taller! Standing up straight and with your chest open and upright can actually be calming. So stop slumping in your chair and focus on posture every day! Fake it till you make it, right? The more you sit and stand up straight, the stronger this habit will become. Plus, who doesn’t want to look taller?

Try Power Poses

Do you have a big event coming up or are you about to go to an important meeting with your boss? It’s time to pull out the power poses. You’ve probably seen this popular arms in a V above the head or hands on the hips pose on your favorite superheroes. You might feel a bit ridiculous at first, but the science behind power posing speaks for itself.

Be Superstitious (in Moderation)

Do you have a lucky shirt or a ritual you swear by? Maybe it’s the shirt you met your girlfriend in or the song you listened to before scoring the winning goal in high school. Whatever your tradition is, experts say these little things might make a big difference in your confidence. If listening to Miley Cyrus sing “Party in the USA” is what pumps you up before a big board meeting, who are we to judge?

Manifesting through Visualization

Now that you have all the skills at your disposal to live life with confidence, it’s time to manifest what you want. Your imagination and confidence will go hand in hand in creating your ideal future. The best way to power towards your future is to visualize it and live as if it’s already happened. Imagine your future with your new goal. What will it look like? How will you feel? Really experience your future and believe it’s already happened. This positivity and confidence will inspire you to really achieve your goals!

This type of visualization might not come naturally at first. Actually, it probably will feel pretty awkward when you’re just getting started. Don’t worry, this is normal! Keep reminders of your goal in places you can see every day. Maybe you’ll write your goal sticking to your bathroom mirror. Maybe you’ll keep it pinned to your desk at work. No matter what you’re striving towards, as long as you practice, practice, and practice some more, you’ll get there.

The Art of Confidence and Manifestation

Confidence isn’t as hard as it seems. It’s as simple as taking small steps every day to make strides towards a better you. The root of your confidence troubles lies in your habits. Do you scroll endlessly through social media? How about your self-image, is it healthy? Start with these bad habits and replace them with new ones. Set clear goals and picture yourself having already achieved them. When in doubt, fake it till you make it. People who look confident, project confidence! You’ll be manifesting what you want in no time!  

The post 5 Steps for Gaining Self-Confidence & Manifesting What You Want appeared first on Wingman Magazine - Dating Advice, Sex Ed, Health and Relationships.