Sometimes when I use the term “I” it is because I can only speak for myself.

Of course, there are a lot of people who may agree with me, see my point of view, or who feel the same way I do about certain things, but I do not try to speak for everybody when I express myself verbally or through writing.

That is why I also Love face to face communication where things can be immediately clarified, inquired, exchanged and so on.

There could only be but so much explained or discussed in a single post or article.

And many times, others will have misconceptions or take out of context what is said or written.

There will always be people who do not always agree or see everything the same way that we do and that is perfectly normal and logical.

We are all different and versatile people with various backgrounds, experiences, and perspectives.

So, right now I want to talk about the subject of God, Hell, and a few other things in relation to my opening statements and topic.

I have always believed in God and saw him work incredibly in my life since childhood, nevertheless, I find it hard to trust him completely and I do not fully understand him even though I am very spiritually inclined.

I can get deep into this matter, however, that would take quite a few posts when I would prefer to just cover the main details.

It is said to not trust in our own understanding yet to me that seems more of a manipulation tactic in a way. I understand we all are incapable of comprehending or seeing into the full picture/spectrum, but I have a mind, a voice, and an analytical thought process and I will continue to use these faculties.

I get tired of hearing about sin, and loving people we do not really want to love when we do not even like them.

I am tired of people associating Hurt with animosity when people find it hard to forgive someone or a circumstance etc….

People dislike certain individuals for all types of reasons, it does not mean that they are hurt or got hurt by the people or the situations.

Some people’s anger, hatred or animosity can stem from hurt but when people feel these emotions it does not necessarily mean that an emotional hurt was behind it. So many are brainwashed by this concept/crap.

To God, we are all sinners and deserve hell- and I have repeated this as the words of God as it is his truth, but I do not fully agree with this.

Sin was already in the world before Adam and Eve were created (the devil sinned by going against God and was cast down from heaven as he later tempted/tricked/influenced Eve).

If Lucifer never came to Eve and deceived her there probably would have never been any disobedience from her and Adam toward God- we may never know.

I and a lot of others did not ask to be born into the world. Why should I or them deserve hell when God already knew beforehand- as he is omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent- the bad condition of the world.

If this is the case, he had no business to bring me here. And I do not want to hear anything about “the clay questioning the potter”. I feel I have every right to complain as I was made to come to a place I would not have agreed to come to if I had known the circumstances beforehand.

It is said that God sends no one to hell we send ourselves there- which makes no sense to me.

God judges us by our hearts so if we are sometimes gratified when someone who has done us wrong or who is a constant cause of trouble in some way has a downfall then we are in danger of going to hell even if we have accepted Jesus?

Then we always must ask for forgiveness even if we feel we are justified in our feelings or actions.

It is so unfair!

Yes! Some or many people do deserve to go to hell but not everyone (I know God does not feel this way).

I feel it is really God’s fault about a lot of things because he could have made life differently. I think it is sick to have to had got nailed to a cross as a blood sacrifice and sacrificing animals before Jesus’s crucifixion to atone for people’s sins.

All of this is weird, and I am disappointed that this is a reality. However, there is nothing that can be done about it.

God knew all these things beforehand.

Why create disasters he knew already would take place and avoid all this catastrophe?

I have been deliberating, inquiring, and evaluating these things since I was a child. I have been told by quite a few pastors and theologians alike that I asked some good and important questions and that even some of them have felt that way in some respects.

I only touched on very few things. I have mentioned before I could go farther, deeper.

Nevertheless, I just felt within me to get to the heart of the matter.

Regardless of what we think or how we feel God is going to do things his way. God claims that he gives us free will as it will reveal who really loves and chooses him.

How so when if we do not do as he commands, we end up in hell? There is no choice.

It is God saying either you do it my way or no way.

So, a lot of people are just following him out of fear instead of pure love. I am sure they mean well and want to do right but hell is unfortunately hanging over their head as a warning instead of the harmony to comply with obedience.

I know it is hard for me to truly love a God who threatens a place in hell when I do not even have anything to do with the nature of sin. God did not do me any favor by giving me life here on earth.

If I had not been born, I would not have known anything so, what difference would it have made?

It only matters now that I am here.

I feel that God is selfish to an extent. Sometimes I feel like a chess piece in a morbid game that he is playing while I do not appreciate being used for his convenience

Why is everything about his glorification? He does not need us to glorify him.

Does he create problems just to deliver us out of it so that we give him praise then blame our troubles on sin?

I can look at things from all different aspects

It was something that he thought of me and others but then again, the way I see it God gives life to just about anything.

There are garbage people he created so my existence from him is really no gift- but I whole-heartedly love, respect and am proud of the person I have become, and I am grateful for the mother, dog, and many things I was blessed with in life.

Honestly, I do not see how we as a people truly ever had “free will”.

Yes, we can make our own choices, but God decides the outcome. We have no control. We cannot decide what family we are born into, what predicaments we are born into and so on.