All relationships, romantic and otherwise, operate on certain Unspoken rules: From remembering birthdays and anniversaries, to sending daily morning and evening texts. My love David is notorious for forgetting important dates. However, it usually hits him a few days later and he’s always deeply apologetic.

I realize many of those unspoken rules are so obscure that they’re only obvious to me. So, I’ve made it a point to voice my feelings when they’re repeatedly violated. The following excerpt from David Sedaris’ Company Man made me LOL because it delineates the hilarious dynamic most couples share.

“Guests usually take the train from London, and before we pick them up at the station, I remind Hugh that for the duration of their visit, he and I will be playing the role of a perfect couple. This means no bickering and no contradicting each other.”

“If I am seated at the kitchen table and he is standing behind me, he is to place a hand on my shoulder right on the spot where a parrot would perch if I were a pirate instead of the ideal boyfriend. When I tell a story he has heard so often he could lip sync it, he is to pretend to be hearing it for the first time and to be appreciating it as much or more than our guests are. I’m to do the same and to feign delight when he serves something I hate, like fish with little bones in it.”

Does this scenario ring true for you? Are there rules you expect your partner to follow when you’re in the company of others?

I’d love to hear about them in the comments below, especially if they veer towards the gauche category. Lol.

Photo by Eloise Ambursley

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