Elvis: Okay, so what kinda special show do ya have fer us this week?
Nothing special. Just the standard stuff.
What? No "guess the song written by the singer's aunt", or the latest clicklist of greatest hits of singers wearing dentures?"
Nope. Just the number ones for the zeros and ones, one new debut, new #1...
Wow, you disappoint me...
Well, I could point out there was about a six-way tie for who the debut was gonna be... I mean, the shuffle has a beefy 26 songs on it. Or I could just randomly type in 'greatest hits of' and see what comes up... I tell you what, let's go with 'greatest hits of all time, and see how many different answers we get!
Well, that'd be unusual...
You better cue up the debut first...
All right, so the winner of the "debuts this week" derby goes to... more new Built To Spill, at #10...
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I like it! How's about I do the #1s from the 0's this week?
Have at it, buddy...
Boy, yer about a damper tonight...
I'm frustrated. Nobody comments anymore, Laurie only chuckles at half the jokes... I think I'm losing my touch...
Cain't lose whatcha never had, haw! Anyway...
This week in 1960, #1 on Cashbox was Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini by Brian Hyland... now that might cheer ya up...
Long as it isn't Mrs Miller in it...
I'd plumb fergot about her! I getcher point...
#1 this week in 1970 was (They Long To Be) Close To You by the Carpenters...
An' in 1980, it was Olivia Newton-John with Magic...
So, what'd you find on those 'greatest hits?
Well, from the top, we had pages giving the title to...
Nirvana's Smells Like Teen Spirit
Aretha Franklin's Respect
John Lennon's Imagine... let's not go there...
The Beatles, Yesterday...
Yeah, let's not go there, either!
Chubby Checker and The Twist
Led Zep and Stairway To Heaven
Queen and Bohemian Rhapsody
Beyonce's Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)
Chuck Berry's Johnny B. Goode
Bob Dylan, Like A Rolling Stone
David Bowie, Life On Mars
Stone Roses, I Am The Resurrection
Prince and the Revolution, When Doves Cry
Hound Dog by yours truly...
YES!!! NA NA NA NA!!!!!
And that's seven Google pages back, with multiple votes for Imagine and Bohemian Rhapsody. A couple of them were various years of the Rolling Stone top 500, Ranker and Rateyourmusic were represented, and of course, the very odd site that pitched in the Stone Roses. I mean, it wasn't bad as 8-minute songs go...
You stopped it at 2:40...
Because we have other things to do! I say, let's bring up Spotify and see which one's got the most votes...
Which proves what?
Nothing, but it gives us a good jumping-off point. Whilst I gather that info, make with the other #1s...
Sure, sure...
1961 this week was Bobby Lewis, Tossin' And Turnin'...
1971 this week was James Taylor an' You've Got A Friend...
...an' 1981 this week was The Oak Ridge Boys an' Elvira...
Good grief!
So, ya get them numbers?
Yep, and here's how Spotify ranked these alleged greatest hits, using the first version that shows up as my number...
Not surprisingly, the Stone Roses bagged last with 41 million...
The Twist only gathered 67 mil for 13th;
Shockingly, When Doves Cry got 12th with 177 mil;
King.. you got 11th with 185 mil...
RIGGED! It wuz rigged, I tell ya!
Bowie came in 10th with 243 mil;
Dylan got 9th with 274 mil;
Chuck Berry was 8th with 322 mil;
Aretha got respected up to #7 with 425 mil;
The Beatles got 6th with 432 mil;
Lennon got 5th with 465 mil;
Beyonce took #4 at 479 mil;
Led Zep came in 3rd with 719 mil;
Nirvana was 2nd with 1.356 BILLION listens;
And, to no great shock, Bohemian Rhapsody was tops with 1.878 billion!
An, to no great shock, we're running late! Lemme get that M10 in right quick...
Firecracker by Chicago holds at 9;
Maddie an' Tae up 2 with Every Night, Every Morning at #8;
Beatmaker by Berry and Noble up one to #7;
Up one to 6 is Gilbert O'Sullivan, Let Me Know;
Absofacto down 1 with Dissolve;
Jayhawks drop from top to 4 with Save It For A Rainy Day;
Built To Spill also at 3, up 3 with Fool's Gold;
Just like on the Billboard chart, Harry Styles holds at 2 with As It Was;
And the new #1....
...Cannons and Bad Dream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now, y'all git on Spotify an' upvote me! We cain't let this travers... this travee... this mess happen again!
