It happens again and again throughout the years. A lone gunman goes on a rampage in a school, church or mall resulting in the loss of so many lives. It gets reported in the news yet nobody ever knows the reason it happened.
I can tell you why it happens and why people can’t figure it out.
Gun control is obviously not the answer because anyone wanting a gun will get one illegally. You can’t stop that. Remember when they tried to make alcohol illegal? That didn’t work did it?
People are starting to get close to the cause by making the basic connection to mental illness. Even though they are in the ballpark, they are only looking at the big picture. Regular people can’t go any deeper because the actual cause is foreign to them. They wouldn’t understand even if the shooter himself told them. It’s a concept that is beyond the comprehension of regular people.
So what causes a boy or man to snap? It all boils down to Loneliness. Did I just blow your mind? If so, then you are a regular person. You might say, “How can loneliness cause someone to commit such a heinous crime? That makes no sense. You’re full of shit.” In that case, you are part of the problem.
I’m not talking about the loneliness a male feels when his girlfriend leaves him. I’m talking about the Chronic Loneliness that a male who has never had a relationship experiences.
Loneliness is extremely powerful and years spent pining for companionship eventually turns to frustration. Constant frustration turns into anger. Anger evolves into rage. If the lonely person is unable to suppress the rage then it will eventually erupt uncontrollably like an explosive volcano. The person wants revenge and doesn’t care who he takes out because they are ALL at fault for going on with their lives and leaving him all by himself. Ignored and unwanted.
Yes. This mental illness is self-inflicted because in reality, the reason he is so lonely is due to his inability to connect with others possibly because of a lack of social skills, an event, or poor parenting. But that doesn’t matter. To this person, the world is at fault and someone has to pay for it.
Can this person help himself? Possibly but unlikely. Should he be highly intelligent, he might be able to self-analyse over the years and realize what is really going on and be able to suppress his rage and accept a lifetime of solitude.
Perhaps he is lacking in these skills. In that case, the eruption is inevitable.
What can we do about it? Lonely Children need to get help when they are young before they have a chance to experience stage one: frustration. I recently read an article about a teacher who used a simple, positive, weekly questionnaire to help evaluate her students and identify the lonely children. Once identified, they can be assisted in learning the skills required to fit in before they become outcasts. This must be done at a very young age because as they get older, they will begin to resist and it will already be too late.
Can anything be done for older people? I believe so. As long as they haven’t already shut down, a lonely person is always open to friendship. It is what they desire most. It is human nature. It is especially hard these days to even notice a lonely person as we are so deeply involved in our little, personal lives and living in “Phone World” that we don’t even look around anymore. Look up for a second. See that guy sitting in the restaurant booth all by himself? No ring on his finger. He’s reading a kindle book on his phone so that he doesn’t feel lonely while he sits there surrounded by happy, social people. Perhaps you might talk to him. He might be an amazing guy who would make your life even better than you can imagine.
Lonely people can’t help themselves. They need you to help them. They are not asking for much. Just a little interaction to acknowledge their existence. A little attention goes a long way to prevent something horrible from happening. You can be part of the solution.