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Out of pain and boredom.

For the better part of the last two days, my back has been killing me! Its starting to get better though. Yesterday, I found these liquid Muscle Relaxers that I used to take when my wrist was hurting. I took them last night and when I woke up this morning, I really couldn't move around. So because I really couldn't move this morning, I thought "If I can't make it out of the bed because I'm so tired, I'm not going to work today. How am I going to Lift Book crates?" (yes, I Lift Book Crates for 5 hours when I go to my job. If I'm not doing that, then I'm putting things on shelves). Yes, today was my day off.

My back has been hurting for the better part of 3 days. I think that I've pulled a muscle, and that might be the case. My whole back has this really bad bruse on it and I've trying to take it easy and relax, but that really didn't help. So, I found these muscle relaxers and I can finally sit down at my desk and type everything out. I didn't go to work yesterday, and that really made me angry beacause I wanted to lift book crates all day and take a 45 minute break. Overall, I was happy that I got the day off because I finally had the time to sit down and refine the raw thoghts that were in my head all day.

(Yes I'm writing this under the infulence of muscle relaxers. I don't know if my writing will be any diffrent, but it would be cool to see if it was.)

But before I get to the "raw thoughts" I first should say that I hate having days off. I always feel like I should be doing something and when I think about that I get kind of angry because I should be doing what I normally do. I really don't get injured in summer, so I really didn't know how to react to that yesterday. I guess it was kind of nice having a day off (and mostly to myself) because I got to look out the window and see the sun shine, and enjoy the air conditoning as much as I wanted. And I'm happy that I spend so much time by myself yesterday because the prefect theme for this blog post came out of my bordom.

Like every other day, I was checking my social networks (this time Facebook) and I was just looking at my news feed. I'm not really into Facebook like I once was, but it didn't hinder my thought. "You know what? I'm the ONLY one of my friends who is single, doesn't post pictures of partying, has less than 50 friends, and still looks like their 7th grade self. Whats wrong with me?"

Alright, I know that was just a thought and nothing is really wrong with me but the question is still valid. I guess I should say "Why am I not like these people?" or "Why are these people my friends in the first place? We aren't alike at ALL".

I guess I should tell you about my "Friends" on Facebook.Look, I don't add every single person I know on Facbook. I don't add my whole 3rd period French class, I don't add the whole Debate Team, I don't add random people that I don't know. However, I do add people who I know. I add my best friends from camp, my best friends that I lost when I transfered, and the people I eat lunch with everyday. So when you add that all up, I have the wopping total of 36 friends. No, they aren't all my "Friends". Out of that 36 people, about 5 or 6 are my "I would take a bullet if I had to so you could stay alive friends" and out of those 5 or 6, 2 or 3 are the "I would die for you if I had to" friends. Subtact 2 exes, and about 5 people who I don't really like, and there you go, that is my Facebook friend list.

I really don't know why I'm not "popular" online or in life for that matter. I always thought that I was an interesting person, and people would always like me for what was on the inside and not on the outside, but that doesn't seem to be true anymore. I can go days without hearing from people, or just anyone. I always thought that that was fine at first, but I didn't realize that whats on the inside doesn't matter that much to people. I feel like no one really wants to go that deep, but then again, I do realize that it is ok if people don't get that far. I'm used to it.

I feel like I finished this post, but the rest of my thoughts are starting to spill over into something else in itself. I'll be back later so I can finish it. I'm in a lot of pain right now anyway, so I'm going to take an Advil and go to bed.



This post first appeared on That Other, please read the originial post: here

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Out of pain and boredom.

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