Have you ever tried to change someone?

Maybe a friend… lover… parent… or colleague?

Smashing my head into a brick wall is the only thing I’ve found more fun than trying to change people…

And more effective for a breakthrough, too.

…

Changing people rarely works.

Because planted deep inside the desire to change someone is usually the implication that they’re not okay as they are.

And nobody wants to be told they’re not good enough as they are.

Even if you think you have their best interest in mind.

…

Welcome to “The Paradox of Acceptance”

Instead of trying to change someone…

Accept them.

Exactly as they are.

It’s harder… but more effective.

…

When you accept someone exactly as they are, they feel loved.

And when they feel loved, they feel Safe.

And when they feel safe, they’re much more open to changing.

Get it?

Acceptance —> Love —> Safety —> Change

With love,

Jacob, the life coach who, when he’s on his game, loves you instead of trying to change you… and as a result, you feel safe to be you in the most radically authentic, bold, and freeing fucking ways.

PS: You can accept someone as they are AND put boundaries in place to respect your own desires and needs.