I look over and see that she has assumed the position. She falls asleep in her favorite chair like this nearly every day. This used to drive me crazy and I would often wake her up and tell her to go in her room. Now I let her Sleep. I let her sleep because it won't always be this way.
See, in about 7 weeks or so she will officially be an adult. And she is my last one. My last little duck that I need to keep from falling down the sewer grate as they waddle behind me. How did this happen? On one hand it feels like my first Baby was born forever ago (nearly twenty-seven years). On the other hand it has been the blink of an eye. Merely a few breaths. Especially this one. This littlest of my little ones seemed to go by in such a blur.
My other kids were independent from the beginning. Actually Maddie was a beautiful mix of both. She loved me and she loved to explore. But my Emma? No, not her. She liked to be tucked right in beside me from her very first moments. My baby best friend that never wanted to venture far and would still probably sleep with me and snuggle on the couch all the time if I would let her.
But now it's almost over. I will no longer be a woman raising kids. For the first time since I was 18 years old I will not be that person anymore. I know what you're all thinking.... Have you MET Emma? She isn't going ANYWHERE! lol And I know that is very true. But even if she is here, it will be different. I will no longer have access to her medical records and she can legally do what she wants without even asking me. Her life is now her business and I am just a background supporting player. Ouch (said every empty nester in history).
What does my life look like when I'm not raising kids? What does it look like having a life of my own? I have no idea and I'm both curious and heartbroken to find out.
It's all so surreal. Time marches on. Babies become adults. Girls become women. But even so, the hearts of mothers remain the same.