2015-08-29 20:14
He said he would be gone for a year. He loved me but he had to go have a walkabout. He would be a cowboy mystic or a poet baker or a minstrel gardener and, with both of us so newly divor… Read More
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2015-08-29 00:14
I love food, been eating it for years, but between the packing of the boxes and the breaking of the heart, I didn't have much of an appetite last month. So, while I existed on a di… Read More
2015-08-29 00:11
One Friday afternoon last month, I was on the way to pick Dash up from school when I stopped at the ATM and discovered my account was overdrawn $700. This was definitely some shoddy, Brokedo… Read More
2015-08-29 00:11
She didn't leave me any Xanax and it sucks because if ever there was a time I could use a little help calming down, it's now. But, no. Selfish, greedy little Xanax grabber had to go and take… Read More
2015-08-29 00:09
“I don’t think I want to do this, mom. It’s too high.” My 8-year old son Dash is staring straight up in the air watching chair lifts transport skiers up a ver… Read More
2015-08-28 19:35
Every time I move, I promise myself I will only use pristine, plastic bins clearly marked with P-Touch labels. I promise myself I will do a thorough and merciless dumping of junk and will on… Read More
2015-08-28 19:29
ONEI'm single and as a single person with loads of partnered up friends, I have endured many evenings of well-wishers trying to figure out what I want and whether they know someone who will… Read More
2015-08-28 19:14
I walked around the new house. Happy. Puttering. I imagined what curtains I would hang in the windows. Took the last two boxes to recycling. Swept.I kept trying to reason with the thermostat… Read More
2015-08-28 19:12
The day before I went to the shooting range, Polly called to find out who was coming with me. “Mom, Pop, Slim, and Darren,” I answered. “Oh God,” she said, “It… Read More
2015-08-28 18:37
"We don't allow holstered weapons or quick draw shooting, so don't even try it. I don't care if you have a blog or a column or whatever the hell it is you're telling me," says the owner of t… Read More
2015-08-28 18:36
I was on the phone with my sister, Polly, and we were talking about what's next for the blog. She's a yoga instructor in New York and in between Vinyasa and Bikram, she called to find out w… Read More
2015-08-28 18:24
I don't like scary movies but I do like mysteries. There's something so satisfying about putting the pieces together and I love the moment when I can say, "Aha! The butler did it. Of course!… Read More
2015-08-28 18:22
We have a house! An actual house in the exact neighborhood I wanted to live in. I sign the lease today and we move on Friday. It's a bit more than I wanted to spend but it's exactly what we… Read More
2015-08-28 17:40
Due to a virulent strain of writer’s block, I haven’t been writing. I’m long overdue for a post and I tried – I really did – but all the words went ass over tea… Read More
2015-08-28 17:39
In January 1983, the halls of my high school were abuzz with talk about our upcoming formal dance, The Winter Ball. We were excited – booking limos, asking older siblings to buy us r… Read More
2015-08-28 17:08
I couldn't sleep last night, partly due to Dash who, having run into my bed after a nightmare, dug his elbows and knees into my ribcage and snored in my ear - quite impressively for a 6 year… Read More
2015-08-28 17:03
A few weeks ago, America was subjected to another beauty pageant. I’m not sure what these events are supposed to be about but to me they’re just a clarion call that summer has ar… Read More
2015-08-28 17:03
Each year, from November to June, the Amazon River floods. In some places, the distance between the banks increases from one mile to twenty-five miles as the water rises thirty feet or more… Read More
2015-08-28 17:03
In 1972, my mother, having had more than enough of both my father and her bra, announced that she, Slim and I would be moving away from the creature comforts of New York City and into the wi… Read More
2006-06-07 11:16
Growing up, my home life had two speeds: Busby Berkeley musical and slasher film. By the time I was a teen-ager I spent the majority of my time in search of a more consistent genre (and some… Read More
2006-06-07 11:16
I woke up yesterday to bronchitis and church bells. The bronchitis I was half-expecting, because in preparing not to smoke I had been smoking like a tobacco farmer, but the bells were new. M… Read More
2006-06-07 11:16
I remember the moment it happened. The exact moment I realized we were poor. I was 10 and Slim was 8 and we were in our room talking about who was cuter: Shaun Cassidy or Donny Osmond. Polly… Read More
2006-06-07 11:16
PROLOGUEThe theater is dark and packed. Outside it’s a hot and cloudy afternoon in New York City but inside dawn is about to break over the English countryside. From the moment the cu… Read More
2006-06-07 11:16
Back before all the trouble started, and for years and years, I woke up each morning with such delicious expectation of the gifts the day would bring you would have thought I had been raised… Read More
2006-06-07 11:16
Despite my assertion that I could, in fact, live another day without seeing a crotch shot, the penis pictures continued to stream in unabated – all of them attached to email responses… Read More
2006-06-07 11:16
Monday I was on the phone with a friend this morning and he told me he'd hurt his arm at the gym last month, “My shoulder’s still really bad. It’s been like this for weeks… Read More
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