Hoy vi la peli de referencia, escrita y dirigida por Woody Allen. Un par de particularidades, transcurre en NYC después de unas cuantas películas situadas en Europa y en el primer mundo se estrenó en 2009, previa a “Conocerás un Extraño”, que acá se vio hace unos meses.

La verdad es que no me había gustado tanto una película suya desde “Los Secretos de Harry” del 98. Me divertí mucho. Les dejo unas quotes memorables:

-For Christ's sake, you got to take

what little pleasure you can find

in this chamber of horrors.

-But what do you do?

You read about some massacre in Darfur

or some school bus gets blown up,

and you go, "Oh, my God, the horror!"

And then you turn the page and finish

your eggs from free-range chickens.

Because what can you do?

It's overwhelming.

-Let's face it, Jessica, okay?

Our marriage hasn't been a garden of roses.

Botanically speaking,

you're more of a Venus flytrap.

-Nights, I have trouble sleeping

and hang out on Mott Street,

trying to explain to cretins that

while a black man got into the White House

he still can't get a cab in New York.

-So what kind of genius are you, anyway?

-What kind?

-Yeah, what are you genius at?

-Quantum mechanics.

-Yeah, but what field? Like, music?

-I was almost nominated for a Nobel Prize.

-That's right, Boris.

And what was it for again? Best Picture?

-My ulcer's been killing me all day.

-I thought you didn't have an ulcer.

-No, I said they can't find an ulcer,

not that I don't have one.

Those malpractice medical mental midgets.

They drop that endoscope down my throat

and probe me like coal miners,

and they always come up with nothing!

-I told him your theory

about capital punishment.

-What did you say?

-That it should include people

that don't pick up after their dogs,

people who ride their bikes on the sidewalk,

people who call mothers "moms" and...

I can't remember them all, you have so many.

-You are not the gentleman I was expecting.

-I'm sure not. I'm sure you'd be happy

if she Married the guy who caught

the biggest catfish in Plaquemines County.

-I'd be happier if she married the catfish.

-Listen, listen, I want to go someplace fun.

Take me someplace fun!

It's New York! Let's go.

-Boris, where can I take her that's fun?

-How about the Holocaust Museum?

-You know those clean-cut, churchgoing

young men, who are model kids,

and good to their neighbors

and quote the Bible,

and never do a wrong thing,

and then one day,

for whatever reason,

they grab a rifle, go to a tower

and pick off everyone in town?

Okay, this is her, but sexually.

She slept with Leo Brockman,

never having been to bed with anyone

before but her husband,

and suddenly,

the genie was out of the bottle!

She liked sleeping with Brockman, and

she liked sleeping with Brockman's friends,

Brockman's acquaintances,

Brockman's acquaintances' acquaintances.

-It's like driving a car.

Those hostile, belligerent morons

all get driver's licenses.

Of course, to have children, you don't

need a license. No proof of anything.

You need a license to fish.

You need a license to be a barber.

You need a license to sell hot dogs.

You know, you read about these poor kids,

beaten and starved,

you wonder, why are these parents

allowed to even have them?

-I dreamt about you last night. l...

-Don't use that line. Because Boris said

that he dreamt about me last night.

And I really doubt

it's mathematically possible

for me to be in two dreams at one time.

-Have you ever heard of

Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle?

-I've heard of it, yeah.

-You know, the observer

influences the experiment?

It's just like

when my mother makes love to

one of the guys she's living with

a certain way when they're alone,

but when she's in front of the other guy,

she does it differently.

-Is that Heisenberg?

I had no idea he was so sexual.

-Marietta, how could you forsake your own

family? I want us all back home to start over.

-I'm a different woman, John.

-I can't believe what I'm seeing. I mean...

Your clothes are different,

your speech is a little more affected,

but deep down, I know you're the same

pretty, small-town, God-fearing,

churchgoing, pie-baking...

-I'm living with two guys.

-...Girl Scout mom. You're what?

-I'm an artist. I don't bake pies.

I don't go to church.  

I do collages, sculpture, photography.

I live in Manhattan with two men who I love

in a very happy ménage à trois.

-A what?

-We all sleep together.

A ménage à trois.

-I knew we should never trust

the goddamn French.

-You married a guy?

-What else?

-But that would make you...

-What? A widow? Norman didn't die.

-Not a widow, a...

-Gay?

-A member of the...

-Of what?

-The homosexual persuasion.

-My God.

You make it sound like a religion.

Yes. lf it's a religion,

you could call me devout. A fanatic.

-But that's a sin against God's law.

-God is gay.

-He can't be.

He made the whole universe perfect.

The oceans, the skies, the beautiful flowers,

the trees everywhere.

-That's right. He's a decorator.

-You must have a very dim view

of the Human race.

-Oh, the human race. They've had to install

automatic toilets in public restrooms,

because people can't be

entrusted to Flush a toilet.

Come on, flushing a toilet!

They can't even flush a toilet!

-My shrink says that the guns were all

a manifestation of my sexual inadequacy.

-Yeah, if it weren't for sexual inadequacy, the

National Rifle Association would go broke.