For most of my life I have battled my weight. The exception being the few years I was "Big as the side of a house" as my father would say. During that time of my life, I just went into denial. Suddenly clothes were being sized bigger, as in what was an 8 was now a 12 (and later a 16). Airlines greatly reduced the size of their seats - to the point that a normal person was uncomfortable.

Reality set in when I saw myself on a video. It was not pretty. In fact, it was ugly. No, let me rephrase that, it was tragic and frightening. After 3 or 4 years of getting my weight under control, I emerged at a decent weight and new self esteem.

The scales are my nemesis. Early on I realized that weighing first thing every morning was a way to truly stay on course. Whatever the almighty scales revealed, I consumed accordingly. Some folks think one should NEVER weigh every morning. To each their own - whatever works.

Recently, I looked back on weight loss plans that have come and gone over the years. Like many other things in life - dieting is mystical at best, hysterical at worse.

I can remember diet foods and drinks, that came and went, promising weight loss. There was Metrecal (circa early 1960's), Slim-Fast (circa 1977), Tab (1963), Carnation Slender (1964), Ayds (1941), and Figurines (1974), to name a few.

In the early 1990's the fad was the low fat diet. I can remember eating and entire Entenmann's Coffee Cake with no remorse or guilt. After all it was totally fat free. I just denied the 2500 calories. Someone had to be doing drugs (good drugs) when they invented that idea. Unfortunately, as many diets before it, it failed.

Even so, I still think Julia Childs was brilliant. One of her quotes was: “If you’re afraid of butter, use cream.”

There was the water diet, then Drs said that too much water caused bloat. Vegetarian dieting was in voque until the low carb / high protein (as in meat) came along. "Limit your food intake to 1 meal a day and one healthy snack" was followed by "eat several small meals a day". Drink weight loss supplements, until, Oops, diet drinks and supplements contain chemicals that make your body crave carbs. The bottom line is - if you cannot find a diet you can live with just wait, one will come along.

And then there were the machines of torture.





All this rambling came to mind this morning after I stepped off the scales. This is insane - this all consuming concern over our weight. More often this is over vanity not health. I need to just stay healthy and eat right. Well maybe, but I am caught between "I am old enough to enjoy what foods I want, weight be damned." and "What drastic diet can I use to get into a size smaller this fall?"