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Jennifer is having a writing affair on the all-knowing Ophelia. She now writes in Journal too. So Ophelia stays at home and acts as Jennifer's best and most consistent friend. Ophelia records her life activities. Journal travel with Jennifer and records her thoughts of the moment.

Jennifer has not stopped moving and changing schools since the first grade. Wayzata is her third high school in as many states. She is abnormally attached to her diary, Ophelia. It is a "god" to her. It is her higher power. Jennifer was always seeking spiritual enlightenment--but she had no direction--so she made up her own god. I believe all the thoughts and "prayers" in her writings were heard by the Christian God that she believes in now. 

October 2, 1985

Dear Ophelia,
"It's great to talk to you again. Since I have Journal now too, I don't have as much to say to you but I will continue to write everyday. Sometimes I can't write because I have too much homework. At least two hours a day. Today I had about 4 1/2 hours. I was doing it non-stop except for eating. Guess what? Monday I got that expander off the top of my mouth and it feels so good. Then I got braces on my bottom teeth so they hurt. I can't eat very well. 

Friday I'm going to babysit for a lady that lives kind of far away. I like babysitting. I especially love babies, they're so fun to hold and play with. I love Clayton. He's so happy and cheerful. When I have a baby, I'm going to read to it before it's born, take it on lots of trips (when older). I'll be firm but I'll love him/her so much that he/she will be such a happy baby. 

Once I have a baby it will be like I won't be able to think of myself anymore. Since I brought this baby into the world, it's my job to give him/her every advantage and make sure he's happy cause he/she is a person who sees things from his own eyes--just like me. And everyone could almost say I created him so I have to give him the best life possible. That is his right because he didn't ask to be born (or did he?). 

I'm also going to have lots of pets, maybe 3 children, but probably two. I used to want just a lot of pets instead of children but now I've changed my mind. 

You are more familiar to me than Journal is. He's kind of a stranger still but I'm being as honest as possible with him. What do you think of him? Do you talk to him? I can't picture you two talking. I picture you staying aloof from each other, competing for my affections. Well, that's just me inflicting human emotions on you, sorry. Should I be? Oh well.

Wayzata is OK. Yea, just OK. Surprisingly, I don't mind all the homework. Tomorrow I have to give my speech in English on Animal Research. I'm going to be so nervous and I'm going to be talking so fast. I can't wait to get it over with. Well, gotta jam. Love forever, Jennifer."

Jennifer's predictions are amazingly accurate! If we can just get our kids to survive adolescence--they do end up following their dreams!!

Jennifer did bear two children, not three, but she still ended up with three! Jennifer completed her family by adopting her third child. She also has lots of pets--nine mammals and two fish tanks!

I wonder how many of our youthful desires we fulfilled without even remembering where the original "idea" came from?

The front of Jennifer's new journal.

Jennifer started Journal on September 20, 1985. She writes on the front that this journal is for recording her thoughts of the moment. She writes, "...if you are offended by anything I say remember that it's hard for me to write some of it. I'm trying to admit and accept the bad things about me, as I am the good things."

She also explains that she expects this journal to be read by others someday. "When I address you, I mean the reader," she writes, "for I am intending you to read it. I hope it helps you and I suggest you keep your own journal, thoughts are a gift and yours might be great ones so write them down." (except she used the wrong write....not like her!)

Anyway, Jennifer's journal gives a lot of insight into the teenage brain--at least her teenage brain! I will intermingle some of Journal and some of Ophelia to, hopefully, weave a more complex view of this 15 year old girl.

The issues coming up in her life are boys, drug-use, perfectionism, control and suicide. It sounds serious but I read ahead a little and found myself laughing and chuckling. Sometimes Jennifer tries so hard to find herself or fit in or be "normal" or even to be "different" that it's just plain funny!

This post first appeared on The Jennifer Diaries, 1978-1992, please read the originial post: here

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