Yes, my lovelies, a lot has happened since I was a regular poster. For example, I've gotten OLDER. Physically, my body is decrepit. Aches and pains galore. I should have purchased that extended warranty. I think I shall list categories of my life and highlight some of the goings on.
Employment/Age: I'm not employed. I have taken an early retirement, and am now among the Social Security set. It's only been a couple of months, but my life changed as soon as that first Government benefit was direct deposited in my account:
- I make noises when I move (snap, crackle, pop, or "Oww, oww").
- I say, "What, I can't hear you!" many times a day. I can no longer eavesdrop on others' conversations
, putting a dent in my rich fantasy life. - I want to yell at kids who are loitering on my lawn.
- I've started driving at an average speed of 27 mph, and I never use my turn signal.
- Dinner is served by 4 pm each day.
- Some mornings when I look in the bathroom mirror, the face that stares back to me looks like Steve Buscemi. Not to say anything bad about the famous character actor, but I am a horrifying vision when I first awake (though I do have fewer chin hairs than Steve).
| The resemblance is uncanny... shiver |
Family: We still have eleven perfect grandchildren who only get more adorable every day. The adult children are all doing well. In another post(s) I may tell you about our monthly family dinners. Speaking of family, I can't forget THE Mister.
The Mister: He's still working, and has improved his diet and lost weight. He also got store-bought teeth. I wonder if this is some delayed mid-life crisis, and he'll come home with a Corvette and tell me he's in love with a Denny's waitress named Tiffany.
I continue to encourage him to treat me like the princess I was meant to be am. It's not a perfect setup, but I begrudgingly give him points for effort. After trying for almost eleven years, I still have not put a dent in his big meanie behavior. I guess it's something I'll have to live with., because we all know he's too old to change.
Four-legged Critter(s): Eddy the cat, now 15, is still with us. She moves a lot slower, sleeps more, and still sheds enough to build another cat. For the past year, I have had a hankerin' for a dog. The Mister (BM - Big Meanie, or Bowel Movement, whatever works) said that I cannot get a dog until after Eddy crosses the Rainbow Bridge.
To be clear, I am NOT plotting Eddy's demise. That would be wrong. The Mister that when we do get a dog, it must be one he likes, too. Since it's common for people to pick a dog with a temperament that matches that of its owner, don't be surprised if I tell you that we got a surly, geriatric Doberman Pinscher who thinks he's the Alpha male. Woof.
Fun/Hobbies/Recreation:
Since I am now in the enviable position of having THE HOUSE TO MYSELF all day, and ACCESS TO A CAR, I bet you're thinking I'm running amok in the Midwest, tipping outhouses, badgering retirees in the post office, or spending my Social Security on bingo and casino slot machines.
None of these things is true, though I have contemplated one or more them a time or two.
My typical day consists of enjoying social media (and wreaking havoc when appropriate), sleeping as late as I want unless if I have no other obligations, and rushing around at 2:30 pm with cleaning so The Mister thinks I worked hard all day on all things domestic.
I've been a slacker at writing, obvs, but I am trying beginning to rectify that now avoid that at all costs. For the past two years, I have taken up crochet hoarding yarn, as my age requires me to. Here's a picture of the "Roseanne" blanket I finished for my most beautiful stepdaughter (she insists I refer to her like that on the blog):
| Russell was my loose ends inspector |
There's so much more to tell, but I'm sure you're bored to tears by now, as i am I've rambled enough. Come back again for more, will ya?
