…that there is no straight Road to your goals?
Yes, I did. As soon as I posted my last post, that Rocky road started. But funny enough, not in a bad way. Or wait! Yes, in a bad way! Or…?
The day after I put my post up, my colleague resigned. That means, if they don’t find someone quick, that I’m the only one to do the job. Or that was what I thought at first, but I’m already on it. I love it but it affects my school, so both good and bad. I have decided to manage through it all though. Two jobs and full time studies. It’s only for a short period and I just need to tell myself to focus. But it’s hard because of everything happening around me… That’s for another post, but I’ll just say don’t take life for granted. My (so called) problems seems very very small in comparison to what has just happened to my twin soul. My best friend from school, the one next to me through my teenage years and one I’ll always treasure. With that said, back to the rocky roads our lives ”invites” us to… Maybe I should just think of it as a game of chess, that rocky road leading up to my goals. All the well planned moves, an opponent that makes it harder and then add the clock to that. All to get to that final move:
Talking about chess… I’ll let you in on a little secret. I was actually competing in chess when I was a kid. With the clock and all. Proper. I wasn’t really one of the cool kids. Chess wasn’t all either… I played the horn, and in concerts too. I did all that before I tried out sports. Athletics was my first real sport activity, and I loved it. I could say I stopped because I found other sports more fun, like tennis or golf, but that’s not really the truth… I stopped all the sports I started, and was actually really good at, because I was afraid to fail. Well, to not be the absolute best is a failure in my head, which is not true of course. But I’ve always been afraid to fail, and that’s why I’ve never taken any risks.
Two and a half years ago when I started with my personal trainer, he told me I had to fail to make progress. “Say what?!!” was my thought. I was sat in the rowing machine and he asked me if I could manage the weight he’d put on and whatever-it-was reps and whatever-it-was sets. I made a little calculation in my head, as I always do, and answered “yes” with confidence. I did the reps and the sets, and when I was done he said “but you managed to do them all…?” As a question. To my defense, I did what he asked of me Anyway, I didn’t understand why he complained or questioned it. And then he said that I was suppose to fail. And, yes because I’m a coward, I told him that I don’t do failure. As you probably can imagine, I was the one who had to pay for that. And still do! Oh my, does he push my limits and scream at me to not stop when I’m about to give in. And because I’m a “good girl” and do what I’m told, it gets me results. Happy days!
Rocky roads and the time is ticking, fast, whether we want it to or not. And I know now that I need to fail to get results. A failure is not always something bad. You learn from it. You grow with it. And you find out what works or not.
Don’t leave your curious mind with the question “what if…?”