I cannot fully explain what has happened the past few days, but they have been good. It has become such an oddity to have a good day, and 3 is unheard of. I decided to give one of my recent meds a second go and within a day everything had opened up. Why? Who the Hell knows? This may sound cheesy, but it was just short of amazing. It is difficult to believe this will last, but I am in such high spirits that I am actually optimistic about it continuing. Perhaps the best part of this is that I am able to concentrate and distract my mind from thinking and ruminating about things that do it harm.
In a couple of hours I will meet with my psychiatrist and for now I think I will ask to make no changes. I would like to give it a few weeks and see where this takes me. Prior to this, it was an unending battle to try and figure out if I was going to make it through the week or if I should plan on being hospitalized. The past few days I haven't even talked to my wife about this, for fear that saying it out loud will jinx and change it detrimentally.
This semester has been so extremely stressful, and I was worried I could not hack it. Now I feel like I can concentrate and grab ahold of where I am going. This is going to work. It has to.
This post first appeared on Somehow Forward - My Struggle With Bipolar Depression And Suicide, please read the originial post: here