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Somehow Forward - My Struggle With Bipolar Depression And Suicide Blog


somehowforward.blogspot.com
I have a great life and a horrible mind. This a my tug of war between healthy reality and destructive chemistry; a chronicle of my battle with treatment-resistant bipolar depression. Life doesn't always make sense, and at times trying to find the answer or solution just makes things worse. Is that the end of it? No. It's not always about the destination, it's about the journey. Here is my journey.
Happiness In A Life Against My Will?
2017-09-25 15:41
Pointless TitleLet's not mince words here. I am cruel. In 2014 I overdosed to end my life and by pure dumb luck my wife found me, barely responsive. The medication I had taken wiped most of… Read More
2017-09-24 01:41
Biochemistry Takes the DayThe past day and a half have been an improvement. I would almost go as far to say that it is a major improvement, but I am afraid to say such a thing without knocki… Read More
I'm Just Not Used To This
2017-09-20 15:47
There are certain aspects of my condition that I am used to. Things I even expect. Often when I begin to get depressed, my mind jumps to suicidal ideations, and I just battle that until it s… Read More
Self Assessment
2017-09-17 18:53
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Slow Down There.I started my next entry a few days ago and got distracted. This is nothing new. It's likely that this entry will spend some time on the back burner before e… Read More
Prepare & Put In The Time
2017-09-11 02:18
It Has SprungNot Spring...Fall is here, and with it the new school year. And with it comes stress, and stress, and a little bit more stress. I am taking a full load. That is to be expected… Read More
Now But How
2017-08-12 17:51
ThingsThings have been. They were going rather well. Then, for some reason, things became less stable. It's a little difficult to try to explain. There are a lot of factors going on right no… Read More
Chester
2017-07-28 02:29
A SmileI've been almost avoiding this, but I think it is important to address, if for nothing but my own peace of mind. I would rank Linkin Park among my top 5 bands. Not number one, but as… Read More
ECT Treatment #5 & #6
2017-07-18 19:40
Treatment #5 was less than exciting, so I never devoted a post to it, but #6 was definitely different.I have also decided to re-brand my future videos as "My 2nd ECT Experience," because, we… Read More
Perception Speaks Louder Than Truth
2017-07-16 14:17
StolenI stole this title from a professor of mine. She was alluding, specifically, to politics and public policy, but it really does ring true with those suffering from mental illness. There… Read More
ECT Treatment #4
2017-07-13 13:11
I should really rename my videos to "My 2nd ECT Experience", because this round of treatments really has been different than that barrage I experienced the first time I went through ECT. I a… Read More

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