I’m just going to come out and say it: I suck at taking care of my Skin. Aside from slathering some Nivea Crème on my face in the morning and wearing a foundation with a tiny SPF, I do nothing. Zip. Nada. Zilch.

I’m lucky if I remember to swipe my face with one of those make-up removal wipes before collapsing into bed at the end of the day.

Now before you assume that I’m some sloth-like creature who doesn’t take care of herself, let it be known that I eat a fairly healthy vegetarian diet and exercise on a near-daily basis. So, that isn’t the reason.

I could say that my lack of skin care regimen is because I’m too busy, but the truth is that I could find an extra 5-10 minutes a day to slather my face with lotions and potions. Lord knows, even on my busiest days, I could find the 30 seconds it takes to wash my damn face. So, it’s not that either.

The truth is, I just don’t care about skin care. I’m not sure why, I just don’t. Rubbing lubes and gels onto my face sounds much less fun than, say, sleeping. Or reading. Or watching tv. Or doing just about anything else.

That said, I recently had a milestone birthday (the big 4-0). My laugh lines are becoming all-the-time lines, my pores are expanding into tiny craters, and my under-eye circles look like I may have gotten into a bar fight the night before. Alas, it’s time for drastic measures to be taken with my skin care routine, and by “drastic measures,” I mean the bare fucking minimum because I’m lazy AF about this.

After some sampling, research, and lots of advice from friends and strangers alike, I’ve come up with the lazy woman’s guide to skin care. Now I know some people swear by things like  apple cider vinegar and coconut oil. But look, I’m as much of an all-natural, wanna-be hippie as the next person, but I prefer to eat my food, not slather it on my face. So behold: Here are the best (non-food-related) skin care products for other skin care-slackers like me:

La Roche-Posay Toleriane Face Wash Cleanser for Sensitive Skin

This daily face wash by La-Roche-Posay was recommended by several people, so I decided to give it a try. The self-described “milky” cleanser comes in normal to oily or normal to dry skin (my skin tends toward dry), and free from allergens and parabens and all that other gunk you don’t want on your skin. Bonus: it’s reasonably priced.

Roc Multi Correxion 5 In 1 Restoring Facial Night Cream

This night cream is supposed to fight aging while you sleep (yes, please!) by creating firmer and smoother skin. I actually have this lotion on my night stand, and I use it whenever I remember. Which is usually about twice a year. So perhaps the results are indeterminate at this point.

Pixi Glow Tonic with Aloe Vera & Ginseng

Pixi Glow Tonic is a facial toner that’s supposed to clean pores, making them appear smaller. It’s a little pricier than I like to spend on skin care products (which is approximately $0), but it comes highly recommended and Pixi doesn’t test their products on animals, so we can feel good about the extra splurge on this.

Garnier® SkinActive® Moisture Bomb Soothing Face Sheet Mask

I’ll be honest: skin masks scare the shit out of me. First, they seem like a whole lot of work. And messy too. And whenever I hear people talking about them, it usually involves words like clay and magnesium and glycerin and before long, my head is spinning and I’m out. But a friend said these sheet masks are easy-peasy, and I’m all about easy-peasy so I’m willing to give it a try.

La Roche-Posay Anthelios Mineral Sunscreen

The one skin care must that everyone echoed: sunscreen. La Roche-Posay’s mineral sunscreen was recommended by several people, and it’s reasonably priced. But even if it weren’t, sunscreen is definitely worth the price tag because no one wants skin cancer.

Tarte Maracuja Oil

Okay, so I’m still not entirely sure what the purpose of face oil is or how it works, but Tarte says its Maracuja Oil is “harvested from the best in nature to restore balance and harmony.” And I love balance and harmony as much as the next person so it’s worth a shot. It can be mixed with foundation too, so it’s not really adding a step to my (minimal) skin care routine, which is an extra bonus.

Youth To The People Age Prevention Superfood Cream

I’ve been a devout fan of my drug store Nivea Crème for the past 20 years, but I very much look my age, so perhaps some aging prevention measures are called for. The price tag on this is a little hefty (for me!), but it’s filled with superfoods, 100 percent vegan, and isn’t tested on animals. Phew.

Clarisonic Mia 2, 2 Speed Facial Sonic Cleansing Brush

Skin care minimalists like me typically shun “devices,” but I’ll make an exception for the Clarisonic brush since it’s so damn easy to use and who doesn’t like a face massage now and then.

Well, there you have it. If you’re struggling to keep up with anything even remotely resembling a skin care routine, these products are a good place to start. But I’ve been told that it’s easy to slip into a multi-step skin care routine pretty fast, so beware: your bathroom counter might soon be overtaken by vials of lotions and potions like mine has.

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