If you’re constantly bumping up the heat on the thermostat when your family isn’t looking, or bringing home a new throw blanket from Target, or asking your waiter for a cup of hot water to hold, you know what it’s like to be cold all the time. You just want to be cozy and Warm, and the world is a freezing and cruel place. You aren’t late in the mornings because you overslept. You were wide awake and procrastinating the moment you had to leave your layers of blankets.
I know the feeling and I am here to help. I bring you tidings of warm things and hopes of heat.
The first thing I do when I get out of bed on a frigid morning is pull on a huge, soft sweater. This one even has a turtleneck so you can retreat inward to the toastiness.
Hand Warming Charger
It warms your hands while it charges your phone. What are you still doing here? Buy it.
Heated Mattress Pad
Who doesn’t hate climbing into bed, tired and ready to drift right off, only to be jarred awake by freezing linens? Even the colonials pre-heated their beds. This mattress pad brings the whole bed up to temperature so you can be snug as a bug in a well-warmed rug.
Neck-Warming Heat Pack
Not only is this neck pack great for delivering heat, it also soothes aches and pains. You can pop it in the microwave and then drape it across your lap, wrap it around your feet, bunch it up behind your back. Or buy a few and warm everything at the same time.
Heated Car Seat
Cold cars are the bane of the existence of the perpetually chilly. Make your commute a little more comfortable by warming your butt throughout your journey.
That wearable blanket you see on infomercials is a swatch of garbage. Take it from someone who knows. But this? This is what it should have been. Thick, cozy, fluffy, and enormous. Never Netflix and chill while chilly again.
Bath Drain Blocker
The upper drain in a bathtub is a glaring design flaw that I can’t believe we haven’t phased out already. No one likes to have their damp parts sticking out of a half-full tub, exposed to the brisk bathroom air. This cover keeps the upper drain from ruining your relaxation time so you can fill the water up to the tippy top.
Heated Toilet Seat
There are two types of people in the world. Those who relieve themselves while on overheated toilet seats, and those who have never used a heated toilet seat. Get yourself out of the latter group and you’ll be a quick convert, I promise.
Nothing spoils a hot shower like drying off in a cold bathroom. Keep the warmth going by wrapping yourself in a warmed towel off this handy rack.
Those pesky cold linens again. During the winter months, stash the crisp ones away and trade them in for soft, insulating flannel. It’s like having a lumberjack rock you to sleep.
Cold weather sucks all the moisture out of your skin. Replenish pleasantly with warm lotion so your leg stubble doesn’t stand on end when you slather it on.
If you have to take your gloves on and off to use your phone, they’re not doing you any good. These gloves have a separate material on the fingertips that let you continue to use your phone while your hands stay protected from the elements.
All heated everything. Get the joy of stealing your husband’s seat after he’s warmed it up without the arguments over “calling fives” and the grumpy pouting that follows.
Heat escapes your body through your hands, head, and feet. Keep your tootsies toasty when you pull these fuzzy slippers out of the microwave for long-lasting warmth.
Insulate your space from the chillier areas of your home by blocking the sneaky drafts that bring cold air under your doors. No more walking by your basement door and grumbling about the breeze coming from downstairs.
Desktop Space Heater
Why should your lower extremities get all the love with your standard space heater on the floor? Blast your face with toasty air and feel warm from head to toe!
There is nothing as satisfying as finally bringing your body temperature up to something warmer than a corpse. I do not think I could survive in a world without hot water or microfleece and I get that the struggle is real and uncomfortable and chilly AF. So from one unspeakably cold person to the next, stay warm, my friend.