Baby, it’s (really effing cold) outside
If you live pretty much anywhere in America, you’re no stranger to cold over the past week or so. But guess what, folks? It’s about to get a lot more nippily up in this bitch so you might not want to put those hats and scarves (and gloves, boots, down jackets, long underwear, wool socks, earmuffs, and maybe another set of gloves) away just yet. A bomb cyclone is coming.
Meteorologists are predicting this bomb cyclone – which refers to a storm’s rapid intensification where it’s central pressure drops 24 millibars or more in a day – to hit the east coast later this week. If bomb cyclone sounds too ominous, it’s also referred to as a “nor’easter” or a “mid-latitude cyclone,” according to BuzzFeed News.
Oh. Good. I’m sure you feel better already.
Luckily, the internet has jokes. Even Washington Post is laughing through the terror.
A monster storm is headed for the East Coast, but don't worry, it's only expected to become a [squints at notes] "bomb cyclone" https://t.co/tLjbbRCQiD
— Washington Post (@washingtonpost) January 2, 2018
*looking at 2018 planner*
January 1: A new year! Good things around the corner!
January 2: Buy groceries before bomb cyclone hits
— Tom Vellner (@tomgvellner) January 2, 2018
News keeps talking about Thursday's nor'easter, 'bomb cyclone', polar vortex and the rush on snow shovels at stores. Why? How did these people lose their shovels since the last storm?
— Ed (@eddiespike) January 3, 2018
I preferred it when we had quaint names for storms like Nor'easter and El Nino instead of ones like Bomb Cyclone and Polar Vortex that sound like they were created by a super villain
— Justin Varricchione (@Taco_Jones) January 3, 2018
I don’t know what a “winter hurricane” or a “bomb cyclone” is, but this is what I imagine when I read that article pic.twitter.com/1cUrFIxOqN
— Brick By Brick (@CoryTownes) January 3, 2018
Basically, a giant storm is forming off the coast of Florida, dropping temperatures and dumping snow on areas of the state, where it’s already snowing in places like Tallahassee, Georgia and Virginia. It will continue up the coast and by Thursday it will resemble a “winter hurricane,” battering most of New England with wind, ice, and more snow. But it’s the dangerous cold that has a lot of people concerned.
And if you aren’t going to laugh, you’ll cry, so its a good thing these folks have kept their sense of humor:
#FrozenAmerica it is so cold here my husband can make his own "snotsicles" pic.twitter.com/Dr9XfHPjP8
— Pam Smith (@PamSmit81893423) January 1, 2018
i’m done with winter. i’m done with being cold. i’m done brushing off my car every time i wanna go somewhere. im done almost dying every time i drive on these roads. i’m done always having to wear layers so i can’t show off my bomb outfit. I AM DONE.
— meg (@meaganwalker_) January 1, 2018
2017: Next year can’t be worse
FORTY-SIX HOURS INTO 2018: If we’re lucky, the bomb cyclone will knock out the power before Trump tweets any more nuclear war threats
— Daniel Lin (@danwlin) January 3, 2018
Whoever pissed off Elsa needs to apologize. #BombCyclone pic.twitter.com/uIxi221lGk
— Shomeo (@SassBaller) January 3, 2018
And though the most extreme conditions will be found well out into the ocean, this weather event “has the potential to make 2018 one of the worst winters in the U.S. yet, and it’s only the first week of January,” TIME reports. Areas like Boston could see temperatures drop to the lowest the area has seen in over 100 years. Wonderful.
Meteorologists have named the storm “Winter Storm Grayson,” which couldn’t possibly sound less scary but will bring blizzard-like conditions, flooding, school closings, and possible power outages up and down the east coast. People are already stocking up on essentials like food and water (and hopefully a fair amount of tequila) in case the predictions are accurate. We’ve had about enough of your shit already, Grayson.
boy that winter storm Grayson looks like it's gonna be a real dick
*holds for applause*
— Victoria McKringle (@vqnerdballs) January 2, 2018
Winter Storm Grayson? This storm sounds like it has a trust fund. #Grayson
— Bekah Berger (@BekahBerger) January 3, 2018
Are we seriously going with "Winter Storm Grayson"? I guess even Mother Nature is into trendy baby names now
— Delia Harrington (@DeliaMary) January 3, 2018
“Our biggest concern is the potential for damaging wind gusts especially near the southeast New England coast,” the Weather Service tweeted. “Power outage risk followed by arctic air Fri/Sat a big concern!”
It’s fair to say this storm isn’t one to mess around with. Sounds like a good time to hunker down indoors, throw on some Netflix, and spend even more quality family time together. (Don’t forget the tequila.)