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And Where we Are, noBody knows

Tags: queenie house

A few years back I posted about Mum in law and her dementia. Well, it has progressed and we find ourselves making changes. Early on after her diagnosis I started making plans but first had to make some adjustments at work and at home. I pulled off getting back into Huuge Inc to get better salary, better benefits, better work hours, and better bosses. I started fixing up my truck 'for the long haul' so that hopefully it will last several more years and we are about to replace Queenie's car with something more dependable. And we made progress in fixing up some of the worn and failing parts of the House.

Then last Fall I took Queenie out to dinner and made a proposal. For the past 3 years Queenie has been driving 30 minutes out to her parents several times a week to help out. Soon, it won't be enough. So I proposed that we build a cottage in the side yard and move 'em down here. Which kinda freaked her out. That was supposed to be her idea when the time came!!  ;-)

Actually her idea was to move them into a nearby senior living center and have them sell their house. that is, until she learned what I already knew: $2000 a month for a couple years, then $7000 a month when Mum needs more care. SS and 2 early retirement pensions weren't going to leave them much at those prices.

So Queenie talked to Pops before Thanksgiving about all this and he was all in. Sort of. It took until just a month ago for him to actually get moving on things, and then he went nuts.

So, it's a long story but the zoning folks won't let us build the cottage ...... because of some clueless blunder from the 50's ...... but we CAN add an apartment on to the house (even that is lucky happenstance) so we're embarking on a building project.

Dad put their house on the market at a bargain price and had a contract to sign within days. And he signed it. It was then that we found out he unilaterally signed an agreement to be out of the house by September 15th! So Xavier had to go read him the riot act to make sure he understood the he was not the one in control ...... and we managed to chat the buyer into November closing date.

So we're gonna stay within the zoning rules but we're still cheating, building a complete second house and attaching it to ours. Mum'll be able to stay 'at home' a few years longer, Pops will have a place to live when she needs dedicated care, and Queenie won't have to move in with them to keep 'em independentish ;-)

We figure it'll help keep Queenie and I together, Mum and Pops where we can manage the trouble they get in, and soon we'll have a default new church when they can no longer drive themselves.

So look for me in the funny papers, I'll be committed before long. Thank God for modular homes, in theory we can dig a foundation and plop a home there in 8-12 weeks time, turn-key. Wish us luck!

SOOOOOO, I told you all that just to tell you this: Still not in contact with Mom as she has yet to seek the help she needs to stop punishing men for existing. And on top of that she's been refused her chance to move in and take over. And now for the 'final' act, we're letting the in-laws do just that without seeking her permission. Yeah, once she finds out I think that will ensure future estrangement because she's expressed jealousy of the in-laws many many times already and this will likely be the final nail in the coffin of our relationship. Just a guess ........



This post first appeared on Strangely ORdinary, please read the originial post: here

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And Where we Are, noBody knows

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