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Much to say, no time to say it ....

so we'll bulletize it:

- The divorce is final, but not complete. Hopefully-soon-to-be-ex-son-in-law has not signed the final ruling nor instructed his law-jerk to file it. So we wait ..... AND
- today we find out that hopefully-soon-to-be-ex-son-in-law knocked up his favorite bar tender and is expecting to be a father at the end of October AND YET
- we have been visited many many (many) times by repo men looking for Hopefully-soon-to-be-ex-son-in-law and his 2 Harleys. Harley says if they don't find him soon they'll be swearing out a warrant for his arrest AND NOW
- we found out from the handiwork of a friend the name and location of Hopefully-soon-to-be-ex-son-in-law's favorite bartender/baby mamma making things difficult as she is the only way we have to connect with him and push him to finalize the divorce he demanded and to own up to the debt he owes to Harley. Hard position to be in, baby-momma may well be innocent. Then again, she may know everything and just not car that he's a deadbeat who threw out his first wife because, um, she tried to stop him from buying things he couldn't pay for. Like Harleys. And even if she's innocent, she needs to know at least a bit of who he is before she does something rash. Like marry her baby daddy ... and she probably should know that he's even ghosted his own lawyer instead of signing the ruling and moving on. Loser.
- When we last talked mum-in-law I think pop and mum had moved to a new place. At the time Mum had lost all access in her mind to nouns making communicating rough.  She could manage pronouns and everything else so at least we could eventually figure out what she was trying to say. Not so much now. Now it's just gibberish and she's gone from being self-conscious of not making sense to just not caring. She's always talked to much- there has never been such a thing as a pause in conversation when she's awake, she has always talked non-stop. She now does that again, only non-sensically. And she knows if you're not listening ......
- Pop is being dragged, kicking and screaming, out of denial. He was convinced that he could handle this all alone right to the end and was working in the worst way to make it happen. Really the worst way. We had to have an intervention ... while Queenie was out of town because she didn't want me making waves .... where bro-in-law and I double-teamed him until he relented. Since then we have pushed him to get her medical care and a health evaluation as well as additional home care. AND
- The evaluation basically said she was past-due to be in a hospice program and that she was receiving sub-standard and inappropriate care. Which Pop tried to dispute and to ignore until I basically told him either follow their requirements or I'd make sure she was institutionalized so that she would be properly cared for. And he naturally tried to argue/dispute/play the Father-knows-mest card to which I replied "If you continue to abuse your position and if you continually abuse Queenie's time, care, and emotions just remember one thing: Queenie is your only in-town child and some day you will need her help as well. And I will not forget how you respect or fail to respect her care now when that time comes." We have an uneasy understanding now. We'll see how long it lasts.
- Mum can not stand on her own, can now walk on her own, can not eat or drink on her own, and recognizes who people are only now and then.
- Believe it or not, the single largest battle with Pop was over church attendance. He somehow convinced his weird mind that Mom had to attend church to 'ensure' her position in the kingdom of God. She could not understand what was going on, did not recognize the people getting in her face, was scared by the noise, and left angry and confused. Queenie had to start arranging for people to come Sunday morning and stop him from waking Mum earlier than she could handle. He gets it now but we fought for weeks on end to reach that point.
- So Mum in in home hospice. And yet with the vagaries no one has any idea how long it may last. Could be months, could be years. We've known folks who went quickly but also know one who is holding on after 12 years ...... the wait is on.



This post first appeared on Strangely ORdinary, please read the originial post: here

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Much to say, no time to say it ....

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