If you have not studied Hindi in school or forgotten your grammar, the word hetu-hetu-mad-bhoot would leave you quite flummoxed. SOY readers are from different linguistic backgrounds, and I don’t intend to write a primer on Hindi grammar. The only reason I am writing on this unusual topic is that this word came in for use in a very interesting context recently at a lunch hosted by a friend. We were all from the same background, some of us are doing interesting things in our second innings.

Our friend ‘A’ now has a successful legal career. ‘B’ is a man of firm convictions: “Putin was only seeking assurance that NATO would not further expand eastwards up to Russia’s borders. He had to enter Ukraine for the sake of Russia’s own security. It is a godsend for India, now he would support us in achieving Akhand Bharat, just as he is pursuing Akhand Russia.” On this matter, I have an equally firm conviction: “Putin is pure evil, bad for the whole world, including India. The idea of Akhand Bharat is complete nonsense. What if Xi Jinping is inspired by Putin to pursue Akhand China, which includes parts of India? Whom would Putin support?” We decided to present our case to this legal whiz-kid A. After we presented a brief statement of our case, ‘A’ gravely announced: I would hear your detailed arguments later, but first let me ask you – and turning towards me – framed his question thus, “If our dream of Akhand Bharat were achievable, and Russia supported us in achieving it, would you agree with ‘B’?” We all had a hearty laugh, that’s like a bright lawyer. ‘A’ smiled with a wink, “हेतुहेतुमद्भूत. We often resort to this in our legal practice.”

Now is the time for definition. In English grammar, each of the tenses – past, present and future – has identical four types: simple, perfect, continuous, and perfect continuous. In Hindi grammar, each tense has different numbers and sets of types. Past tense has the most – हेतुहेतुमद्भूत is one of the six types of past tense. What makes Hhmb extremely interesting is its universal application in the real world, and it is fundamental to human behaviour.

We are the world masters of cricket. If only BCCI had not created doubts about captaincy in a clumsy manner; if Virat Kohli in that crucial match in the 18^th over had set an attacking field; had he taken an extra batsman in place of a bowler; had he…, we would not have exited ICC T20 Championship in such ignominy. Had BJP announced their CM face in West Bengal and had Modi done or not done xyz….; had RJD not given so many seats to the deadwood Congress… Had X also excused himself from that dinner as so many of us did, he would not have caught Covid and faced such a horrible time in the hospital. Had Djokovic simply taken the vaccines, who knows, the outcome of the Australian Open might have been different. If Medvedev had come more often to the net, or not tried drop shots from the baseline…

All these HHMBs are our way of dealing with an unexpected, often disagreeable outcome. It is our coping mechanism, to make sense of the world. To give us comfort that things would have turned right, had the person chosen the more plausible this rather than that disastrous course of action. A common phrase to describe these HHMBs is ‘insight in hindsight’ which all of us in our drawing rooms, people in the street and TV commentators possess.

At times events go well beyond the HHMB stage. After Djoko was thrown out of Australia, a BBC interview with him went like this:

Are you an anti-vaxxer? “No”
Then what is your vaccine status, are you vaccinated? “No.”
Are you planning to take vaccines? “No.”
Do you know that with this attitude you would have to forego French Open? Are you willing to pay this price? “Yes.”
Then you may also not be able to play Wimbledon. Are you willing to pay that price too? “Yes.”
So you are willing to forego the chance of becoming statistically the best tennis player in history? “Yes.”

HHMB is not relevant here. You are left tearing your hair at his stubborn beliefs, couched in a strange mumbo jumbo – “autonomy over my body, very particular about what goes inside it, Serbia’s troubled past when I grew up in penury, which made me independent”, and so on.

When some situations are beyond HHMB, we describe them as fait accompli. Putin has presented the world a fait accompli – like it or lump it. Ayodhya presented a fait accompli on 6^th December 1992 making irrelevant the HHMB: Had PV Narsimha Rao done something more than just twiddling his thumbs before the TV set…. It is impossible to reverse some fait accomplis to  status quo ante.

In some situations of ugly fait accompli, making HHMB irrelevant, the arrogant psychopath’s hubris brings some redemption, as in the case of Hitler. Western leaders realise it is impossible to intervene directly, their statements smack of a wishful hope that Putin’s hubris would lead to his downfall.

Not all the HHMBs are missed opportunities. Something comes up forcing you to cancel your booking in that ill-fated train. If you had been on that train as per the plan…. This HHMB is too horrifying to speculate. We do not dwell much on this, we call it ‘providence’. Most of us have had such close shaves in our lives.

Another unique feature of HHMB is that the human brain is conditioned to accept the divine will or destiny – sports persons would go through physical injuries, even occasional poor form or unforced errors; the captain would call the toss wrong 50% of the time; you couldn’t have done anything about the virus. HHMB starts after whatever will be, will be, when the choice and human action comes into play.

There are good many HHMB film songs for sure. It is a type of past tense, but the readers may be flexible and may include any Song of “If….., then….” type.

1. Koi hota jisko apna hum apna kah lete yaaro by Kishore Kumar from Mere Apna (1971), lyrics Gulzar, music Salil Chowdhury

Even a streetfighter wishes he had someone whom he could call his own, who could share his pains and dreams.

2. Meri zindagi mein aate to kuchh aur baat hoti by Mohammad Rafi from Kanyadan (1968), lyrics by Hasrat Jaipuri, music Shankar-Jaikishan

This familiar scene became a type in Bollywood of 60s – some misunderstanding, but there are still embers of love in the hearts of both. It is often the man singing a song of HHMB: If you had come in my life, things would have been very different. Generally, the villain meets his right deserts in the end with the hero and the heroine living happily ever after.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_50BzEErSS4

3. Tum jo hamaare meet na hote, geet ye mere geet na hote by Mukesh from Aashiq (1962), lyrics Shailendra, music Shankar-Jaikishan

Love is in the air. Raj Kapoor expresses his deep emotional feelings for Padmini: If she had not been his companion, his songs would have been bereft of melody.

4. Ye dil na hota bechara, kadam na hote awara/ Jo khooboorat koi apna humsafar hota by Kishore Kumar from Jewel Thief (1967), lyric Majrooh Sultanpuri, music SD Burman

Sometimes the absence of a beautiful companion makes a person wayward, a vagabond. Dev Anand has internalised his free-bird status, but the HHMB still remains in his heart: If I had a beautiful companion, my heart would not have been so sad, nor my steps would have gone astray.

5. Dil ki tamanna thi masti mein, manzil se bhi door nikalte/ Apna bhi koi saathi hota hum bhi bahakte chalte chalte by Rafi & Asha Bhosle/Rafi from Gyarah Hazaar Ladakiyan (1962), lyrics Majrooh Sultanpuri, music N Datta

This is a beautifully written and composed HHMB song. There are two versions of the song, but the tempo of the song creates a happy mood in the duet, and sad in solo.

6. Agar teri jalwa numai na hoti, khuda ki kasam ye khudai na hoti by Rafi and Suman Kalyanpur from Beti Bete (1964), lyrics Hasrat Jaipuri, music Shankar-Jaikishan

Everything is so beautiful, but “if the world had not seen your charms, this entire cosmos would have been worthless.” This is an excellent song, but I can’t get over my uneasy feeling about “teri jalwa”. Hasrat Jaipuri-SJ combination had earlier created “Tera jalwa jisne dekha wo tera ho gaya”. Both can’t be correct.

7. Haseenon ke jalwe pareshan rahte, agar hum na hote agar hum na hote by Rafi, Manna Dey, Asha Bhosle and Suman Kalyanpur from Babar (1960), lyrics Sahir Ludhiyanavi, music Roshan

Just after ‘teri jalwa’, we come across ‘ke jalwe’ – food for thought for our lyrics experts, which gender is ‘jalwa’?. The Master of Qawwali, Roshan and the lyricist Sahir Ludhiyanavi’s combination has created several magical qawwalis. This ‘muqabala’ between the genders follows the stereotype of each trying to put down the other. The charm of the beautiful damsels would have gone waste, had men not been there to admire them. The women retort, ‘You would have remained oblivious of love, had we not been there.’

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1sW7SGgnSkw

8. Aise mein agar tum aa jate, kuchh tum kahte kuchh hum kahte by Suraiya from Balam (1949), lyrics Qamar Jalalabadi, music Husnlal-Bhagatram

Suraiya was blessed with a sweet voice which more than made up for her lack of formal training in Music. ‘If in this state you had come, you would have opened your heart a little, and I would have opened a little’ – this imagery paints a beautiful picture. Readers may recall the last post in which Anita Rupavataram quoted Mahadevi Verma’s poem on a similar feeling. Each line oozes HHMB, which adds beauty to her poetry:

जो तुम आ जाते एक बार
कितनी करुणा कितने सन्देश
पथ में बिछ जाते बन पराग
गाता प्राणों का तार तार
अनुराग भरा उन्माद राग
आँसू लेते वे पद पखार
जो तुम आ जाते एक बार

हंस उठते पल में आर्द्र नयन
धुल जाता होठों से विषाद
छा जाता जीवन में वसन्त
लुट जाता चिर संचित विराग
आंखें देतीं सर्वस्व वार
जो तुम आ जाते एक बार

9. Jo main jaanati bisarat hain sainya by Lata Mangeshkar from Shabaab (1955), lyrics Shakeel Badayuni, music Naushad

Naushad and Lata Mangeshkar both were at the commanding heights of film music in the mid-1950s. This beautiful HHMB song is one of the best representatives of their talent. The song starts with equally poignant opening recital by Lata Mangeshkar:

मन साजन ने हर लीना और तन दुनिया ने छीना
भला कहो अब कैसे बाजे बिना तार के बीना
जो मैं जानती बिसरत हैं सैंया…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gjZsjSLuR2k

10. Sun mere bandhu re sun mere mitwa by SD Burman from Sujata (1959), lyrics Majrooh Sultanpuri, music SD Burman

You might be surprised to find this song here. But look at the antaras:

होता तू पीपल, मैं होती अमरलता तेरी
तेरे गले माला बनकर पड़ी मुसुकाती रे
जिया कहे तू सागर मैं, होती तेरी नदिया
लहर बहर करती अपने पिया से मिल जाती रे

If you had been a banyan tree, I would have been your eternal creeper
I would have beamed at my luck to be the neckless around your neck
My heart wishes you were my ocean, and I, your river
Dancing and roaring I would have merged with my lover.

Acknowledgements and Disclaimer:
The song links have been embedded from the YouTube only for the listening pleasure of the music lovers. This blog does not claim any copyright over them, which rests with the respective owners of the rights.

The post हेतुहेतुमद्भूत songs first appeared on Songs Of Yore.