I’ve spent the last 5 months working at the convenience store 7 blocks from my apartment. It’s been an enchanting time, full of wonder and amazement and… and who am I kidding? I work graves with a convenience store inside a college town. It’s exactly as exciting mainly because it sounds. Well, I’ve been getting paid, so that’s pretty cool, plus it actually is fairly educational.
By way of example, I’ve found that by convenience store, anything they really mean is destination to get newport cigarettes and, on occasion, things you can get at the grocery store for much less. Seriously, over 60% of my store’s internal revenue originates from tobacco products. Which means that, in simple terms, 60% of my paycheck comes from me selling cancer sticks to people. I’m not really too surprised at this… after all, it’s a college town in Wyoming, meaning the population consists entirely of rednecks who happen to be simply the potential audience for that tobacco industry, because the majority of them probably can’t browse the warning labels and honest to God think that a “light” cigarette is healthier for these people (I kid you do not, a lot more than one person has said this if you ask me), college students who figure that they must be spending their time now drinking and smoking as their idea of college came from watching Van Wilder and Animal House (that, and furthermore, as smoking, like, totally makes them look cool), and old folks who suffer from nothing easier to buy than items that will put them in the grave a little bit faster (I have faith that they may have nothing safer to buy based on the fact there is a half an aisle focused on the Snuggie on the local Wal-Mart).
To comply with the top demand for tobacco, there is literally a wall full of it at the shop, offering numerous types of tobacco wrapped in paper using a filter. There exists basically newport box 100s for each and every sort of person imaginable. Because I have noted from my long time here, different types of everyone is fascinated by kinds of cigarettes, with, in most cases (I’ll just say 4 away from every 5 cases), you may tell what kind of person someone is based on the rest they buy:
The Hipster cigarette associated with preference! People that buy American Spirits belong to one of two classes: One, the type of those who think that because American Spirits are, and i also quote, “100% additive free natural tobacco”, that this means that it’s much better than the “trash” those other simpletons buy (yes, an ordinary of mine did make use of the word “trash” to describe other brands). Two, the level of people who feel that because American Spirit is “natural”, and features a pipe-smoking Indian being a mascot, it’s, like, totally less destructive about the environment, man! American devqpky54 cares concerning the earth, and poor small-time tobacco farmers! Nothing like those mainstream d-bags (these folks neglect to realize that, in truth, American Spirit is really as widely distributed as brands like Marlboro, Camel and Newport, meaning it still causes lots of harm to our planet in transportation alone). In either case, Hipsters like American Spirits. Rarely do I get a smoker who I don’t think I have to card who buys American Spirit.
Marlboro is somehow symbolic of cowboys along with the west, almost certainly due to decades of really effective marketing on Phillip-Morris’ part. Consequently, I sell waaaaaaaaaay more Marlboros than any other brand within Wyoming. Individuals who buy Marlboros are difficult to generalize, since we provide you with 30 various kinds of Marlboro at our little store. With that being said, there are certain forms of Marlboro that are loved by certain kinds of people. As an example, Marlboro Blend 27s are most often favorited with the painfully redneck Tech-ers (for anyone who don’t determine what a Tech-er is, they may be kids who attend the Wyoming Technical School… and they are almost always kids who weren’t smart enough to gain access to some other school ever), probably because they’re brown and search like leather, meaning they’re a manly cigarette! newport short cigarettes Smooths will be the female equivalent, favorite with the few girl Tech-ers. Old, redneck men more often than not buy standard Marlboros, annoyingly assuming they’re the only real cigarette we sell, often looking for “a pack of smokes” or “a pack of Reds” and assuming I’ll know they mean Marlboro. This regardless of the truth that we have now Marlboro Reds, Marlboro Red Pack (which can be different… somehow), Camel Reds, Winston Reds, American Spirit Red Pack, Sonoma Reds, and i believe you get the picture. Even though many people buy Marlboros, it is reliable advice that when a redneck of the breed or age walks through those doors, they’re planning to want Marlboros. Cause they’re the cowboy smokes, and that is Wyomin’ damnit!
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