Note from John Pagano FAB Strategies: I received this guest blog story from Constance Ray. She tells Shawn’s story of how he is courageously living each day to overcome childhood trauma and Addiction, and prevent it’s legacy in his own family. May of the teens I work with show the same courage in facing family trauma and addiction. You can e-mail Constance and find out more about her work at [email protected] Photo By: Pixabay
Shawn’s Journey to the Top: How He Overcame an Abusive Childhood and Addiction
When we picture addiction, the image that often comes to mind is that of an adult. However, what many people don’t realize is that childhood experiences often set the stage for potential addictive behaviors later on in life. Once it has its iron hold, it can seem impossible to get out. We talked with one addiction survivor about how he not only broke free from his dark past, but found it in his heart to forgive.
Shawn’s story begins when he was just a young teenager. While other boys his age were learning life skills from their fathers, Shawn did his best to avoid his father and the accompanying Pain.
“I grew up in an extremely abusive household. I was abused mentally, physically, and emotionally by my dad. I started using cocaine to numb the pain. I didn’t use it everyday, but I used it often and I used it on and off for about 20 years,” Shawn said.
Fast-forward several years later, and Shawn found himself moving to Rhode Island after a failed marriage, leaving behind a son. He remarried, but the drug use followed, sending him spiraling into depression.
“One day, my wife had enough of what I was doing and tossed me out on the street. My so-called ‘friends’ at the time all backed out and were nowhere to be found,” Shawn said. “I had nowhere to go and nowhere to stay, and so I was homeless.”
Shawn was left with nothing but a motorcycle to his name, but even that failed him.
“I’ve been riding a motorcycle for nearly 40 years and never had a wreck, but one day I left the kickstand out and wrecked my bike, breaking four ribs in the process,” Shawn explained. “I was without a job, without a home, without my wife, and I was in a lot of pain. And that’s when I felt like God said to me that it was time to get my life together.”
Looking up addiction rehabs on his phone, it just so happened that the first one he came across was the Treehouse in Texas. Not able to afford the trip, Shawn’s family chipped in, much to his disbelief.
“Most surprisingly, my son helped to pay for my plane ticket, which made me feel both good and bad about where my addiction had taken me,” Shawn said.
Shawn credits the kind and caring staff for helping him put an end to his drug use and move forward from his painful childhood.
“I learned to forgive; I forgave my dad and let go of that anger and pain. I forgave myself for all of the hurting that I caused myself and my family. I really had a spiritual awakening at the Treehouse. When I surrendered to God, I felt like I was 1,000 pounds lighter, because He took all of that from me,” Shawn said.
As for his family, Shawn said they are continuing to heal each and every day, crediting his wife for saving him from a life of drug abuse and sadness.
“I’m still working to try to patch things up with my wife. I know that the day she put me out of the house is what saved my life … I know everything happened this way for a reason, and I am going to do everything I can to make it work with us. I’m also working towards reconnecting with my son,” Shawn said.
Addiction was Shawn’s way of coping with the pain his father caused him, but he realizes now that ultimately, everything he did was self-inflicted as a way to dull the pain.
“I was so used to being put down and was never good enough for my father, but now I truly know that I have a purpose in life: to help others and to enjoy life as it comes — through good and bad,” Shawn said.
No matter how difficult your past has been, drugs are never the answer. Facing it is scary, but you aren’t in this alone. Like Shawn, you can break free from whatever has caused you such immense pain, beat your addiction, and find your life’s purpose.