Today I’ve given a co-patient a hug. He was having a hard time and as I hate people struggling “I decided” to give a hug. Reason decided is between quotes is because it came naturally yet where I’m hospitalised Hugging is forbidden. So I broke the law.
Honestly I don’t see why hugging is forbidden. If another person is having a hard time and is beautifully honest to show its vulnerability I believe we should celebrate that in psychiatry ’cause the reason some of us are stuck here is because we set our feeling apart for too long. And of course that’s not for all patients, yet the Policy is.
Allowing feelings and appreciating a hug is hard, for myself, and also for that person I hugged. As we spent hours talking you tend to know each other pretty well. We’re human because we care for each other. I believe we should focus on that, not the power not to show vulnerability, or not to show feelings as the policy does.
Brene Brown states “If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can’t survive”.
Although a hug does not imply 100% certainty that it is empathic and it comes forth from an understanding of the situation of the other person, I feel like when people cry, when they feel alone with their battle, it is more empathic to hug.
To date I’m still wondering why hugging is forbidden. A true answer I won’t get and that’s most probably most frustrating.
So please rather than shaming feelings and blocking empathy allow us to hug. It’s human to need affection and this shouldn’t be breaking the law. But if policy forbids I’ll gladly break the law again.