Backbiting is one of the dark secrets at the workplace. Everyone encounters the backstabbers and the Backbiters unless you are not one of them. I was working as an executive in a company, and after a year's hard work, I got promoted to a manager position. While, I was still celebrating, and receiving best wishes from my colleagues; my immediate boss called me to his cabin.
We sat to discuss some business leads, and as we were winding up our conversation, he informed me about a team member complaining that I was not treating her well and many other things. I sat in front of my boss shocked. I supported her throughout. We were good friends. We went for lunch together every day. My boss knew what I was thinking. He understood more than shocked I was disappointed. I was feeling hurt and of-course betrayed by this act of hers.
My boss explained to me that this was a challenge to be faced and learning; how to deal with such situations. He further added that there are backbiters, but handling them will enhance my leadership skills. He further added that if I wished he could transfer her to another department, but then that was not the solution.
Jealousy is the main reasons for backbiting many times. Though I had the tough time with the backbiters then, today I have managed myself to keep away from them.
Below are 5 ways that help me deal with the backbiters.
1) Know where to draw the line:
Being friendly with your colleagues is important. However, you should understand where to draw the professional line. Do not share too many personal details with everyone. Sharing too much information with others could be harmful. Too much talking can lead others to gossip about you.
2) Do not listen to them:
I don't mean to say that you socially boycott yourself. However, understand that a person who will talk behind others back can do the same behind yours as well. It may be difficult to control the backbiter, but you can always choose not to entertain them. Decide what you want to listen and what not. If you don't show interest, the other person will stop talking about others with you.
3) Control your Reaction:
Do not react to the person backbiting. If a person comes to you and tells that someone spoke regarding you, do not revert to him/her. Stay calm and control yourself. Find out the truth before getting upset about it. Have you heard about the Chinese Whisper game? Like the game it can happen that the person said something else but, it could be possible that it came to you in the wrong way. By, playing with the words a person can create confusion between two people. Before reacting to the loose talks, directly speak to the person.
4) Training:
It can play a major role in dealing with the problem of the backbiting at the workplace. Working as a team and having a stress free environment is very important for a successful organization. The continuous interactions with staff are necessary to encounter the problem of the backbiting. We all need to understand and respect the privacy of others.
5) Take Actions:
If you find the person who constantly is a guilty of backbiting about the others find the way to discuss the issue. As mentioned earlier training could be a tool if properly used can help you end this issue. Have company's policy regarding backbiting in place and make sure that every staff understands it well. If still the individual continues the same behavior, take appropriate action against him/her.
Remember, backbiting is a negative practice not only at work but in personal life too.
