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Being Parent is Not About Being Totalitarian, Changing My Approach. Are You Going to Change?

Tags: daughter
I write blogs about career, training and development. I don't only write but also love to learn and then share what I learn by writing Blogs. However, today I learned the most important lesson of my life. My today's teacher is 5 years old girl and I am sharing it as that's the mistake we make frequently.


My 3 years and 8 months girl loves going to school. Everyday she comes at 1210 hrs as her school is five minutes drive from home. Today also my whimsy girl enthusiastically entered the gate. As everyday she narrated her entire 3 hours spent in school in ten minutes. As we were about to enter a very good friend of mine came along with her five years old daughter. Made them comfortable and I went to kitchen, while I was still there my daughter kept her bag at the place, opened her shoes, kept her socks in laundry bag. Then she took out her lunch box and placed it in the kitchen sink. She was doing it all right and my friend was observing her closely. I entered the room with glass of milk for children and coffee for us. As I sat my friend pointed out at her daughter, "Look she is only 3 and how responsible she is and you are five and still don't keep your shoes properly." Little girl did not know how to react, she choose to keep quiet but starred at my daughter and she was the cause of  this embarrassment of hers. I choose to change the topic.We were still talking when my friends daughter interrupted to tell what happened at her school. My friend told her to keep quiet and drink milk.
My daughter came and two girls planned to play with doll house. My daughter finished her milk and kept the cup at the kitchen.

My friends daughter was still drinking it and she took her glass and started playing with my daughter. Two girls became so involved with the doll house that by mistake milk got spill over the carpet. Before I could say anything my friend got up and slapped her and shouted at her, " Look how the little girl drank whole milk and you are so useless, you have spoiled whole carpet." and then she slapped her again. I interrupted, " Please don't hit her even I have two small kids at home and they keep spilling something or the other." We ate lunch and she left.
My daughter asked for water and little water got spilled out. My son who was standing next to us slapped my daughter pointing out at the spilled water. My son is two and half years old. My daughter's eyes were teary. I took my daughter and son in my arms. Still confused how to explain my two and half that hitting is not the solution.
As I am writing now my daughter is peacefully sleeping and son is sitting by her side turning the pages of his story book. I am feeling bad because thats what even I do sometimes. Even I am guilty of that one tight slap way of handling kids. Not only this I realized many things that as parents we want our kids to grow up our way. Sometimes killing their creativity.   
Comparison is the biggest mistake that we commit. Majority of us do it. We threaten our kids and sometimes fill their heart with fear too.
Today I have learned my lesson and I am definitely changing my approach. Though it might take sometime for me to change but I will change         


This post first appeared on Learn And Share, please read the originial post: here

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Being Parent is Not About Being Totalitarian, Changing My Approach. Are You Going to Change?

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