It’s been a month since I married Lalaine, and I’ve been physically sick for the most part of it. When friends ask what happened to me, I jokingly tell them that I’m just not used to the marriage environment yet.
Well, honestly I’m not sure what caused my ailment. Cough, colds, and allergies. Basically my immune system is messed up these days. Woke up the day after the wedding day feeling unwell. Guess all the toil that was shouldered by my adrenaline during the preparations have caught up with my body.
Anyway, I am now “trying” to slowly go back to my normal working schedule. Even though I know that there still isn’t any “normal” schedule — for everything will be a little different from now on. Adjustment will play a crucial part. I have to accept that “Me time” will not be so easy now compare before. But I’m sure it will be replaced with a better “We time” with my wife.
One of the things we do on our free time is to play PS4. We in fact finished Resident Evil Revelations 2 in a week of co-op play.
It was a joyous experience!
However, despite the joy, I am getting a mixed feeling of anxiousness. It’s nice to settle down, and have someone to be with you on the next part of the journey. But perhaps I’m having a self-inflicted pressure about this huge responsibilities that I now carry on my shoulders.
As a newly appointed leader of a starting family, providing for them is one of my major role. Not being able to see what’s ahead makes me worry. “Will I be successful?” “Will I be a good parent?” “What if I mess up? They’ll also suffer the consequences.” I’m overthinking about such stuffs.
All I have right now is a God to lean on – and He is more than enough. I have His Word, and Promises, that I can bank on. He reminded me on Matthew 6:25-34 that I should not worry because He knows what I need. He also told me through Jeremiah 29:11 that He have wonderful plans for me. Lastly, He affirmed in Genesis 2:18 that I’m on the right track because getting married is good, and is part of His Will in this life.
I’m still new to this marriage thing, and I’m not sure if I will do great in the future. But in the end, this story that I am living now is not about me. This is God’s story. A testimony that will glorify Him.