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Engaged? How to Announce Your Engagement–a Guide

If you’ve just gotten Engaged, you’re probably bursting: you want to celebrate with each other! You want to tell your mom! You can’t wait to call your BFF and gush! But hold up, excited ones: there a few things you need to think about when it comes to figuring out how to announce your Engagement.

As tempting as it might be to rush out and tell the entire world (it’s unfortunate that town criers aren’t really a thing anymore, no?), it may behoove you to slow down and make a tiny plan. I don’t mean something ultra-detailed and laid out, step-by-step. And by all means, please go have that very gushy, super excited phone call with your friend or your mom. But before you start snapping a photo of your ring and your excited faces to post it online… make sure that you’ve thought about everyone else you’ll want to tell, too.

Getting married is exciting and awesome, and assuming everyone is entering into this union willingly, it should be celebrated. Here a few ideas for announcing your engagement:
how to tell your family that you’re engaged
First and foremost, there’s a two-to-three step process that will need to be attended to soon after your engagement is official. You don’t need to go big, but something a little more special than an excited text is probably good. A phone call, a meal, etc:

tell your parents first: If your parents are involved in your lives and important to you, make sure they’re the first people to know—the last thing you want is for your mom to find out about your engagement from Facebook, after seeing the photo your BFF shared from the bar where you guys were celebrating.

then tell your children: If one or both of you has kids from a previous relationship, tell your kids next. Depending on how close you are to your children and how old your kids are, it might make sense to tell them before you tell your parents. Your call! After your most immediate people know, you’ll also want to loop in siblings.

get everyone together: This isn’t strictly necessary, but it’s nice to invite all involved parents, parent-esque figures, and kids in your lives to have dinner together and celebrate, discuss, and generally get to know each other a little better. Maybe you guys hang out all the time, but for a lot of people, getting engaged is what makes both sides of the family realize: “Oh hey, this is real now.”
how to tell everyone else that you’re engaged
After you’ve told your immediately families and everyone’s toasted you until the sun comes up, you’ll probably want to tell your friends. Some of us have close friends we’ve known for decades, and it’s perfectly fine to also invite those people to the family celebrations (assuming your family wouldn’t balk). A lot of also have friends we love but wouldn’t include in the first wave of “OMG I’M ENGAGED!!!” celebrations—and here are a few ideas for telling those people the news:

start making phone calls: I know, I know: phone calls! I can’t even! But if you are into using your phone for things other than social media and the news, lots of people (think extended family, for starters) would love to hear your voice when you tell them this kind of huge news. It’s a little retro for some, but picking up the phone is still infinitely more effective than a text or blanket Facebook update. If you really can’t deal, or your list of people to call is well into the dozens, email is totally fine.

take it to the web: I see engagement announcements on Facebook and Instagram all the time, and I always love them. That’s probably because the ones I see online (as opposed to hearing about it in person) are the engagements of people I know and love—but who wouldn’t invite me to the wedding, because we’re not that close. So before you snap a photo of the ring(s) and get ready to post it, do a quick double check and make sure that people who are very close to you aren’t getting this news from their phone or tablet screen first.

have an engagement party: Engagement parties can be as chill or as exciting as you want them to be—and we’ll actually be talking about how to host one next week.
7 ways you should never tell people that you’re engaged
There’s some old adage about hell and good intentions, but I don’t believe in hell so I’m not worried about that. What I am worried about is that in the heat of the moment while announcing your engagement, you might break one of these social taboos because you’re so excited:
by  bragging: Maybe one of you received a gigantic ring, or your partner proposed on a surprise, whirlwind trip to Paris: I dig it. However, the way you talk about that ring or the trip matters, and you don’t want to be braggy. Make your engagement announcement more about what happened—the two of you have decided together to take a huge, new step in your lives—and less about the many karats in your ring or the $10,000 that was dropped on the trip.
by being inappropriate: If someone is telling you about a terrible time they’re happening, it would be extremely uncouth of you to follow that up with a, “OMG, so sorry. But guess what? I’m engaged!” There’s a time and a place for everything, so just know when and where that is.
when you really aren’t: Maybe you think that you’re going to get engaged next weekend. Maybe you’ve even already gone ring shopping together. Maybe you even have half your vows written out and your photographer booked with a deposit—but y’all, don’t start telling people you’re getting married until you really, really are. Please.
at work: Well, no, back up. You can totally  tell people at work that you’re engaged, but again: time and place. Maybe make sure you aren’t running late for a meeting, or that someone isn’t about to get yelled at, or that everyone isn’t swamped.
by freaking out: If your engagement was surprise, or if you’re not 100% sure about diving in, don’t announce your engagement in a long-winded meltdown. If you’re not totally sure you’re into this life change, maybe sit on it for a little bit before you let everyone else in on your feelings. You need to be committed before anyone else is, and that’s not going to happen if we all see you fall apart.

also announcing that you’re pregnant: Before you get upset, hear me out: this is less because you’re pregnant and getting married (that’s fine!) and more because if you tell people, “We’re engaged! And I’m pregnant!” then… a lot of people will be inclined to believe that you’re getting married just because you’re also having a baby. Let people bask in the joy of your engagement first, and tell them about your pregnancy a few weeks (or months)  later.

by asking them to be in your wedding parties: Like, the in the same night. As tempting as it might be, maybe don’t immediately ask someone to be in your wedding party unless this person is your sibling, your ride or die BFF, or equally close. Because what if you ask someone, they say yes, and then two weeks later you realize that you don’t in fact want your best friend’s sister’s cousin in your bridal party? That’s sticky.
How did you announce your engagement? what worked well—and what didn’t?

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Engaged? How to Announce Your Engagement–a Guide


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