For most people, holidays can be a lot of fun but they can also be very stressful. For split families, holidays can be even more challenging. That is why it is important for divorced parents to understand that once children live in two different homes, holidays will never be the same as when they were married. Traditions they had as a single family may not be easy to continue, but the change in family structure is also an opportunity for all family members to enjoy quality time, make up new traditions and create some lifelong memories. There are many ways to handle holidays as divorced families. In the end, the Holiday schedule that works best will mostly depend on each parent and the children’s needs and wants, as well as the type of co-parenting relationship in place. Parents want their children to associate holidays with happy times so the goal is to put differences aside and resolve areas of conflict to focus on making holidays a positive experience for all.

Many options are available when deciding on a holiday schedule for the year, and not all holidays have to be shared the same way. In fact, parents can use any combination of options to ensure the schedule is most enjoyable to the children. Because so many options are available, it is sometimes difficult and overwhelming for parents to figure out what will work best for their families. In this case, hiring a family law mediator can be a very helpful resource when negotiating holiday arrangements. An experienced mediator can discuss the family’s needs and desires, and help parents decide what will work best for each holiday. The mediator can also encourage parents on how to start new family traditions and create new memories, instead of trying to perpetuate old family traditions. The most popular options for divorced parents when setting up a holiday schedule are:

-  Alternating the holiday every year: parents are assigned the holiday on even or odd years. This reduces the time children spend traveling, but only works if parents are comfortable not spending that holiday with their children every year.

-  Splitting the holiday in half: children spend half the day with each parent. This can be a good option for important holidays like Christmas or Thanksgiving, when parents don’t want to miss out on the holiday for a whole year, and if parents live close to each other. 

-  Assigning the same holiday to one parent every year, when some holidays are more important to one parent than another. This works well for parents of different religions (e.g.one parent wants to celebrate Hanukah and the other Christmas). 

-  Scheduling the same holiday twice every year: this option is for parents who don’t want to miss a holiday every other year and don’t want to split the day. For example one parent can celebrate Thanksgiving on Thursday while the other celebrates it on Friday. 

-  3-day weekends can be assigned by alternating the 3-day weekend every year, splitting it in half, or alternating the holiday only.

Most holiday schedules include major federal and school holidays, such as New Year’s Day, Martin Luther King Jr. Day, Presidents' Day, Easter, Memorial Day, 4th of July, Labor Day, Halloween, Veterans’ Day, Thanksgiving and Christmas, as well as other religious holidays each parent may follow. If parents live close to each other, children usually spend Mother’s Day with their mother and Father’s Day with their father. Finally, parents will need to name specific start and end times, as well as assign transportation responsibilities, to avoid confusion on each holiday. It is important to note that holidays and vacation time always supersede the regular visitation schedule.

To learn more about the mediation process, complete our request for a free online evaluation, and to receive a free 30-minute phone consultation, visit us at www.afairway.com, or call 619-702-9174.