This is something that happens very often. People get into relationships, the love spirals out and they decide to break up- this is the fundamentals of the whole dating process.

Every once in a while, when a rare phenomenon occurs in the lives of many broken couples, Friendship is considered and practiced between genders. Since dating is very rarely a one-time thing where you end up marrying your first boyfriend, this is a pretty common occurrence. So the big question is: how to maintain the friendship even after breaking up?

There is no clear cut conclusion to this question, so let’s just go through various things that can happen based on the situation. Most of the time it may seem impossible. Too much baggage and hurt feelings can often act as obstacles in the path to friendship.

Studies show that if you end your relationship on a positive note, then you are likely to Remain Friends with your ex. Obviously this requires a strong support system of friends and family to help you sort out your feelings and bring back your emotional stability.

If you were friends before getting into a relationship, then it’s pretty likely you end up remaining friends even after breaking up- it may take some time to get back to the original state but it will definitely get better!

But let’s say the relationship was serious with you falling hook, line and sinker for him, chances are you won’t be able to bounce back to maintaining a healthy friendship with him ever again. But if you dated for a short period of time and never crossed sexual boundaries, then it’s possible to remain friends even after break-up.

Will this friendship have an effect on any new relationships you are about to begin? This is an important thing to consider as friendships are supposed to be positive and allow personal growth. If that’s not going to happen, then it’s best to leave things as it is. You need to understand that just because your ex isn’t your friend anymore; it doesn’t necessarily mean he’s your enemy. If you can get to a point where you can peacefully co-exist together, count that as a personal victory-something to be proud of. There is a difference between being friends and being friendly. Being friendly is acknowledging each other at church, or helping when in need, but being friend’s means investing effort to maintain the relationship.

So put your best foot forward always and try to be friends if it can lead to a positive relationship. Good luck!

This article is written by Nikkie Balla, a contributing author for Lightning Speed Dating blog. Edited by; Sandra Leow.