“Sometimes, commitment isn’t about what you stand to gain but, what you are prepared to loose.”
Muhammed Muazu Mukaddas

Most of us Define “commitment” as a certain word we say to label a relationship. Some say it is a target or some kind of dedication to something you expect yourself to achieve or to reach, or to accomplish. Some define it as a promise to do something for someone including himself.

Well, however we define it, I’m not good at commitments. I suck. No, I don’t lie. I don’t make hopes high. And maybe that’s why I suck. Instead of commiting, instead of setting limits, instead of putting labels, I let people just wait for me. Wait for my forever changing mind to settle on a particular decision. No warnings, notice, no whatever. Just a last-minute surprise in your life.

All my life I thought it was better not to commit. Not to promise. Not to say a word you’re not sure of. Yea, I always played safe. So safe that the people around me now think I can’t stand being tied up to someone or something.

Well, people, no. I also want to settle. I want to decide. I want to be tied up. I want to belong to a particular side between yes and no. Heck, we all need to, right?

Today I realized, commitment isn’t a choice. Whether you like to decide or not, it’s just yes or no. It’s nothing but black and white. 1 or 0. Negative or positive. Whether you commit or not.

Every decision is risky. There’s no safe play. It’s whether you’re willing to tie yourself up (which is a yes), or just let it just be loose enough for you to runaway from whenever you want to (which is still a no).

So maybe I don’t suck at commitments at all. I don’t commit to other people, but I am wholly commited to myself. I choose myself over them. Maybe not reasonable as alwyas, but at least I’m on a particular side.

Question is, is it wrong to choose yourself first before choosing others? Is it wrong to just wait before going with the flow? Is it wrong to think of every considerations before saying yes or no? Of course not, right? Love yourself first! Think twice or maybe thrice. But isn’t it one of the most common reasons of the most common regrets we are suffering from? — Letting it pass? Letting them go?