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Choose a Sense of Humour

Friendship is a pretty full-time occupation if you really are friendly with somebody. You can't have too many friends because then you're just not really friends. ~ Truman Capote #quote

If anything can go wrong, it will. ~ #MurphysLaws

We are each a dozen people who were all the same child. ~ Robert Brault #quote

It seems, in fact, as though the second half of a man's life is made up of nothing, but the habits he has accumulated during the first half. ~ Fyodor Dostoyevsky #quote

Throughout the history of commercial life nobody has ever quite liked the commission man. His function is too vague, his presence always seems one too many, his profit looks too easy, and even when you admit that he has a necessary function, you feel that this function is, as it were, a personification of something that in an ethical society would not need to exist. If people could deal with one another honestly, they would not need agents. ~ Raymond Chandler #quote

In this possibly terminal phase of human existence, democracy and freedom are more than just ideals to be valued - they may be essential to survival. ~ Noam Chomsky #quote

To build may have to be the slow and laborious task of years. To destroy can be the thoughtless act of a single day. ~ Sir Winston Churchill #quote

Nothing is more dangerous in wartime than to live in the temperamental atmosphere of a Gallup Poll, always feeling ones pulse and taking ones temperature. I see that a speaker at the week-end said that this was a time when leaders should keep their ears to the ground. All I can say is that the British nation will find it very hard to look up to leaders who are detected in that somewhat ungainly posture. ~ Sir Winston Churchill #quote

Half a truth is better than no politics. ~ G.K. Chesterton #quote

The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work. ~ Malcolm Fleschner #quote

He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River. ~ Brian Broadus #quote

Some government workers are dedicated and work hard, but most of them are just waiting to retire. ~ Wanda Sykes  #quote

So it goes. ~ Kurt Vonnegut #quote

Obscenity is not a quality inherent in a book or picture, but is solely and exclusively a contribution of the reading mind, and hence cannot be defined in terms of the qualities of a book or picture.  ~ Theodore Schroeder #quote

The theoretical broadening which comes from having many humanities subjects on the campus is offset by the general dopiness of the people who study these things. ~ Richard Feynman #quote

The first lesson reading teaches is how to be alone. ~ Jonathan Franzen  #quote

Creativity comes from trust. Trust your instincts. And never hope more than you work. ~ Rita Mae Brown #quote

If you step in a puddle, don't blame the puddle. #OneLiners

Not all scars show, not all wounds heal. Sometimes you can't always see the pain someone feels. ~ Unknown #quote

It is impossible to give a clear account of the world, but art can teach us to reproduce it  - just as the world reproduces itself in the course of its eternal gyrations. The primordial sea indefatigably repeats the same words and casts up the same astonished beings on the same sea-shore. ~ Albert Camus #quote

Every nation ridicules other nations, and all are right. ~ Arthur Schopenhauer #Quote

I've tried everything in the world, the things I like best I tried twice. ~ Lynyrd Skynyrd,#lyrics

Idleness is an inlet to disorder, and makes way for licentiousness. People who have nothing to do are quickly tired of their own company. ~ Jeremy Collier #Quote

You change the world by being yourself. ~ Yoko Ono #Quote

When you're curious, you find lots of interesting things to do. ~ Walt Disney #Quote

When a doctor does go wrong he is the first of criminals. He has nerve and he has knowledge. ~ Sir Arthur Conan Doyle #quote

The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, 'You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done'. ~ George Carlin #quote

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt of, not swallowed. ~ Josh Billings #quote

The easiest kind of relationship is with ten thousand people, the hardest is with one. ~ Joan Baez #quote

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement. ~ Author unknown #quote

An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building, and after 50 floors says, "So far so good!" ~ Author unknown #quote

Once you have made up your mind, stick to it; there is no longer any 'if' or 'but'. ~ Napoleon Bonaparte #quote

Just for the record, the weather today is partly suspicious with chances of betrayal. ~ Chuck Palahniuk #quote,  Diary

To write is to become disinterested. There is a certain renunciation in art. ~ Albert Camus #quote

Censorship is advertising paid by the government. ~ Federico Fellini #quote

If you could choose one characteristic that would get you through life, choose a sense of humour. ~ Jennifer Jones #quote

To abandon oneself to principles is really to die - and to die for an impossible love which is the contrary of love. ~ Albert Camus #quote

A real gentleman, even if he loses everything he owns, must show no emotion. Money must be so far beneath a gentleman that it is hardly worth troubling about. ~ Fyodor Dostoyevsky #quote

Great men are seldom over-scrupulous in the arrangement of their attire. ~ Charles Dickens #quote

Like hunger, physical love is a necessity. But man's appetite for amour is never so regular or so sustained as his appetite for the delights of the table. ~ Honoure de Balzac #quote

A stiff apology is a second insult. The injured party does not want to be compensated because he has been wronged; he wants to be healed because he has been hurt. ~ G.K. Chesterton #quote

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others. ~ Author unknown #quote

A man's most open actions have a secret side to them. ~ Joseph Conrad #quote

The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can’t fake it… try to fake three laughs in an hour – ha ha ha ha ha – they’ll take you away, man. You can’t. ~ Lenny Bruce #quote

Every human being has hundreds of separate people living under his skin. The talent of a writer is his ability to give them their separate names, identities, personalities and have them relate to other characters living with him. ~ Mel Brooks #quote

The eagle has ceased to scream, but the parrots will now begin to chatter. The war of the giants is over and the pigmies will now start to squabble. ~ Sir Winston Churchill #quote

The cow is of the bovine ilk: One end is moo, the other, milk. ~ Ogden Nash #quote

Total absence of humour renders life impossible. ~ Colette #quote

Nothing and no one can destroy the Chinese people. They are relentless survivors. ~ Pearl Buck #quote

Change begets change. Nothing propagates so fast. If a man habituated to a narrow circle of cares and pleasures, out of which he seldom travels, step beyond it, though for never so brief a space, his departure from the monotonous scene on which he has been an actor of importance would seem to be the signal for instant confusion. The mine which Time has slowly dug beneath familiar objects is sprung in an instant; and what was rock before, becomes but sand and dust. ~ Charles Dickens #quote

In 1961, the New York Museum of Modern Art mistakenly hung a work by Henri Matisse upside-down for 47 days until a visiting stockbroker pointed out the error to a security guard. #Factoids

There are easier things in life than finding a good man. Nailing Jell-O to a tree for instance. ~ Unknown #quote

All over the place, from the popular culture to the propaganda system, there is constant pressure to make people feel that they are helpless, that the only role they can have is to ratify decisions and to consume. ~ Noam Chomsky #quote

The paper burns, but the words fly away.  ~ Akiba ben Joseph #quote

Look at every path closely and deliberately, then ask ourselves this crucial question: Does this path have a heart? If it does, then the path is good. If it doesn't, it is of no use ~ Carlos Castaneda #quote

We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt like it. ~ Dave Barry #quote

The people who were honoured in the Bible were the false prophets. It was the ones we call the prophets who were jailed and driven into the desert, and so on. ~ Noam Chomsky #quote

Hatred is the vice of narrow souls; they feed it with all their littleness, and make it the pretext of base tyrannies. ~ Honoure de Balzac #quote

Arriving at one goal is the starting point to another. ~ Fyodor Dostoyevsky #quote

A lady of what is commonly called an uncertain temper - a phrase which being interpreted signifies a temper tolerably certain to make everybody more or less uncomfortable. ~ Charles Dickens #quote

Truth indeed rather alleviates than hurts, and will always bear up against falsehood, as oil does above water. ~ Miguel de Cervantes #quote

If spilled, there's no such thing as "a little water." #Gallagher'sInsight

Twenty to twenty-five! These are the years! Don't be content with things as they are. Don't take No for an answer. Never submit to failure. Do not be fobbed off with mere personal success or acceptance. You will make all kinds of mistakes; but as long as you are generous and true, and also fierce, you cannot hurt the world or even seriously distress her. She was made to be wooed and won by youth. She has lived and thrived only by repeated subjugations. ~ Sir Winston Churchill #quote

Those terrifying verbal jungles called laws are simply such directives, accumulated, codified, and systematized through the centuries.  ~ S.I. Hayakawa #quote

Courage atrophies from lack of use. ~ Unknown #quote

I never vote for anyone. I always vote against. ~ W.C. Fields #quote

The public is not to see where power lies, how it shapes policy, and for what ends. Rather, people are to hate and fear one another. ~ Noam Chomsky #quote

All general statements are false. ~ Unknown #quote

This post first appeared on Those Not Complicated Need Not Apply, please read the originial post: here

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Choose a Sense of Humour


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