Enjoy life it's not a dress rehearsal #bumperstickers
Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of. #oneliner
The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes. #justajoke
A mind singularly practical and sagacious [sagacious = wise] #literaryExpression
It's kind of fun to do the impossible. ~ Walt Disney #quote
GOUT, n. A physician's name for the rheumatism of a rich patient. ~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary #quote
He who hesitates is not only lost, but miles from the next exit. #oneliners
My parents worked hard to give us everything money could not buy. #oneliners
Striving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralizing. ~ Harriet Braiker #quote
One often learns more from ten days of agony than from ten years of contentment. ~ Merle Shain #quote
No one is responsible for all the things that happen to him, but he is responsible for the way he acts when they do happen. #oneliners
I don't need your attitude I have one of my own. #oneliners
The smallest feline is a masterpiece. ~ Leonardo da Vinci #quotes #cats
Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth. ~ Benjamin Disraeli #quote
Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to. ~ Mark Twain #humanNature
Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. #sarcasticsayings
He who has a why to live can bear almost any how. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche #quotes
I believe you find life such a problem because you think there are good people and bad people. You're wrong, of course. There are, always and only, the bad people, but some of them are on opposite sides. ~ Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards! #quote
Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college. ~ Kurt Vonnegut #quote
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. ~ Voltaire #quote
You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him. ~ Malcolm Forbes #quote
It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent. ~ Dave Barry #quote
Shoot the breeze ~ To chat idly or generally waste time talking #ENGidioms
Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling. ~ Dave Barry #quote
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have. ~ Thomas Jefferson #quote
One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors. ~ Plato #quote
Don't think you're on the right road just because it’s a well-beaten path. #oneliners
ACTUALLY, adv. Perhaps; possibly. ~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary #quote
Take care of your character and your reputation will take care of itself. #oneliners
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. ~ Oscar Wilde #quote
What some people mistake for the high cost of living, is really the cost of living high. #oneliners
PLATONIC, adj. Pertaining to the philosophy of Socrates. Platonic Love is a fool's name for the affection between a disability and a frost. ~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary #quote
Laugh at your problems, everybody else does. ~ #OneLiner
Don't believe them who say that they will follow you like your shadow; because shadows disappear in darkness. #oneliners
No one is so old as those who have outlived enthusiasm. ~ Henry David Thoreau #quote
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems. ~ Paul Erdos #quote
A group of unicorns is called a blessing. #collectivenouns
Talent hits the target which no one else can hit; genius hits the target which no one else can see. #oneliners
Good and Evil are opposite points on a circle, Dr. Chiver. Greater good is just halfway back to Bad. ~ Sheri Holman, The Dress Lodger #quote
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance ~ Oscar Wilde #quote
The sole purpose of a child's middle name, is so he can tell when he's really in trouble. ~ #OneLiner
Speak softly. If you really want to be heard, lower your voice. ~ Terri Levine #quote
People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges ~ J.F. Newton #quote
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down. ~ Jimmy Durante #quote
AIR, n. A nutritious substance supplied by a bountiful Providence for the fattening of the poor. ~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary #quote
LECTURER, n. One with his hand in your pocket, his tongue in your ear and his faith in your patience. ~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary #quote
Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our lives. ~ C.S. Lewis #quote
Life’s tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late. ~ Benjamin Franklin #quote
Just when I think I have learned the way to live, life changes. ~ Hugh Prather #quotes
No man really becomes a fool until he stops asking questions. #oneliners
Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear. ~ Ambrose Redmoon #quote
The Earthquakes = That Queer Shake #anagram
It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. ~ Aristotle #quote
I don't think so therefore I'm probably not. ~ Alan Smithee #quote
Remember, your relatives had no choice in the matter either. #oneliners
Denial ain't just a river in Egypt. ~ Mark Twain #quote
I'd rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star. I'd rather be a has-been than a might-have-been by far; for a might-have-been has never been, but a has-been was once an are. ~ Milton Berle #quote
This post first appeared on Those Not Complicated Need Not Apply, please read the originial post: here
