In case you weren’t already aware, relationships are hard. This is true for all types of relationships whether it be romantic, friendships, or relationships with family members. Relationships can start out great and end in a crazy way with no warning. People begin to get comfortable and their true feelings and intentions begin to show. If this happens, you will need to be equipped to protect your own heart and sort out your feelings. With that being said, there are a few reasons why you need to Love yourself before loving someone else.

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1. To Learn How To Process Your Emotions

Emotions are so complicated. One minute you may be up and the next you are down. Different emotions come and go without warning. As you learn to love yourself, you learn how to process your emotions. While you may not be able to control them, you will learn your triggers and the stressors that you need to avoid. How can you love someone else and support them when they are emotional if you don’t understand your own emotions?

If you are having trouble processing your emotions and still learning how to love that part of yourself, I suggest journaling. The 5 Minute Journal is a great way to unload at the end of the day and put things into perspective. After you have used your journal for a week or so, you will start seeing trends in your moods and emotions. Use these trends to find ways to process your emotions and love yourself a little more each day.

2. To Find Validation Within Yourself

One misconception that a lot of people have is that they need another person, whether it be a significant other or best friend, to validate them. You need to understand that each person walking this Earth is different so it doesn’t make sense to be a people pleaser. You will never please everyone. People will have their own thoughts and form their own opinions about your choices no matter what. You do not need another person to validate you or your actions.

Before you can love someone else, you need to know that you have the ability to give yourself the validation that you need. When you wake up in the morning, try using positive affirmations to set the tone of your day. Tell yourself that you are strong and beautiful. This will help build your confidence to a point where you do not need other people for validation. If you need more information on positive affirmations, read The Miracle Morning. You will believe in yourself and your abilities in no time and this will allow you to be able to love others properly because you feel good about your own choices.

3. To Gain Confidence

Our own insecurities often hinder us from loving others. In order to love someone else, you have to be confident in yourself. For some reason, self-love and confidence are both things that lots of women struggle with. We are exposed to this unrealistic picture of beauty and it hurts our personal confidence because we don’t believe that we fit the mold. The truth is, a lot of the women on television and in magazines don’t fit that mold either.

One thing to remember is that your confidence has to come from within. You do not need another person to build your confidence because you will become dependent on that person. Dependency gives another person the ability to make or break you. That is the worst thing that can happen in any type of relationship.

In order to engage in healthy relationships, you will need to realize that you are beautiful and be confident in that statement. Do whatever you need to do to feel confident. If that takes wearing makeup or shopping for a new wardrobe, do it. If you are most confident without makeup, don’t wear it. Do not worry about what other people say. You are working on loving yourself the way that you are and that is all that matters.

4. To Learn To Be Alone

In a world where we are always connected, it is becoming harder and harder to be alone. It is so easy to call or FaceTime someone or log into social media at any time during the day. We rarely ever make time to just be alone and check on ourselves. Before you are able to love someone else, you should be in a place where you are happy spending time alone. Go to the movies, out to dinner, or just spend time at home alone. Unplug and relax while getting to know yourself. These intimate moments alone are vital to you finding yourself and genuinely loving yourself.

When you enter your next relationship, you will need to spend time apart from time to time in order to keep the relationship healthy. Your partner shouldn’t have to worry whether you will be ok for a few hours or days without them. They will want to be confident that you will not fall apart and also that you will enjoy your time alone. If you have trouble spending time alone now, try to ease into it. Sit alone in a quiet space with no electronics for 5 minutes each day. When you are ready, increase the amount of time that you spend alone gradually. Eventually, you will know yourself on a deeper level and be able to actually enjoy being alone.

5. To Discover Your Love Language

A Love Language is a way that you express and experience love. Some people may need quality time to experience love while others need physical touch. In order to find your own love language, you have to observe the way that you express love. Think about the ways that you enjoy making someone else feel special and you will discover the things that you need in order to feel special. It sounds like a crazy concept, but going into your next relationship with this knowledge will be so helpful.

I read a book called The 5 Love Languages. This book made me reevaluate the way I think about love. In order for me to learn to love other people, I had to look deep within myself and that was scary. I realized that the way I love other people is also the way that I want to be loved in return. The book helped me discover my love language and determine the things that I needed in order to feel most loved. You should definitely read this book if you want to discover your love language.  

The Bottom Line

What this all boils down to is the fact that your ability to love yourself should not be dependent on anyone else. Love will only become true after you make your own happiness a priority. Never get so wrapped up in making someone else happy that your happiness depends on someone else being happy. Go out and enjoy the world. Spend plenty of time alone. These things will allow you to gain a deeper understanding of who you are as a person and you will love yourself more each day. 

How do you feel about loving yourself before thinking about loving someone else?

Resources:

The 5 Minute Journal

The 5 Love Languages

*This article contains affiliate links, and we will be compensated for any purchase made by clicking on them. Thank you for supporting Miss Millennia Magazine!*

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