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Of Ghosts and Monsters

Tags: blinks

1:34am

The hardest part of letting go is forgiving every incident that has ever happened to me. Of course, they say the best way to move forward is to forgive and never forget.

But.

How am I suppose to let go when I can never forget about it?

And

The most difficult part in the process is having to remember every single thing from childhood to current, unintentionally. I couldn't find any valid reason to blame myself for remembering, it just so happens out of a blue; in the shower, during a run, attempting to sleep, smoking etc. Despite numerous attempts in steeling clear of evil deeds. I.e Tibetan singing bowls, meditation, yoga, comedies.

Some days, it gets a little scary when I'm alone in the room. The shadow stays stagnant in a place where they would steal my glance. A blink means I'm safe, 3 blinks says I'm not and countless blinks mean I better not be hyperventilating. It's ok to cry, just no sound, if not you'll wake thy neighbors up. 

Till this day, I slept with the lights on.



This post first appeared on My Recovery, please read the originial post: here

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Of Ghosts and Monsters

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