3:48am
It's been long and excruciating. Though I might have enough time, my thoughts weren't processing the way it is. It's beyond messy and grueling, my mind is currently a blank canvas, attempting to fish out whatever information that has been processed during my run awhile ago. I just couldn't find the right words to incorporate in no matter how much I tried.
Well, I am extremely jaded for all I know. This week is yet another battle God had laid upon me. Sometimes I wonder if he just wanna see me break. Despite the 8 hours unprompted sleep, I haven't been able to complete any tasks assigned, while it drags on for an extended period of time.
Some good things happened to me recently. Last week, I attended an LGBT support group event together with a few acquaintances. It was quite an eye-opening experience, and I'm overwhelmed by the amount of support that was bestowed upon me. (Okay, poor choices of words. 4 years of hardcore literature gone to waste, my English/Lit teacher must be extremely disappointed somewhere.)
Mom would occasionally make remarks that I might have gone through a lot more than what the average teenager does, but there are people in this world who have suffered more than I do. The message registered quickly, and I knew I want to be a strong independent woman whose primary purposes in this world is to help others in need. Like what comedian the Kumar once said (which I totally forgot the sequence), “As long as you have a roof over your head…” so perhaps to alter her quote, I believe that as long as there’s a roof over your head, enough food to survive and a comfy bed to lie on, we should all help other people in need. But that action can’t be done unless you solve whatever issues going on in your mind.
Earlier this year, someone asked if I am a feminist since I kept emphasizing on equal rights/opportunity and my admiration for
Women. I couldn’t answer. I am 21 years old, barely scratched the surface of the world as some have said, I must read to gain enough knowledge in order to substantiate my stand. Social media as of now shows different sides of what a feminist represent, the "angry" ones think that they are superior to men, or they think that women are more powerful than men hence must be eliminated. But isn’t feminism all about working towards equality?
To me, I think that women should support and stand up for one another. We should not possess jealously or hatred towards each other just because of their wealth, status quo and/or ability.
And yes, It is a miracle. At age 21, I wouldn't expect myself to read, despite being possibly the slowest reader. In one way or another, Jennifer is back on track. A full battle ahead and I'm eager/ready to rage on.
It was my first Sayoni event and I must say, it was wonderful, it's like a self-help group therapy that allows individuals to share their feelings. Pretty therapeutic.
Having a snack break while completing our "self-love jar".
And behold... Lucy's unamused facial expression.
Oh, and my mouthguard too. Hahaha
