As I sat in the presumably cold office often gazing at the slow ticking time waiting for the other hour to pass swiftly so I could retreat back to my private domicile. A young woman whom I shall call A beckoned me from afar. Turns out she wanted me to travel to another location, which is about 50 minutes drive from office (including traffic time). Pretty simple task; delivering cheques to one of the staffs stationed at the restaurant. Well, I took it as an early day off, similarly like an adventure for someone who hates 4 walls and a computer, as well as sitting for an agonizing 6 hours a day.
Perhaps god heard my plea, as I remembered calling out to him in the morning. First I pray that I win the lottery, which is redundant as most of you might call it). Then I pray for work to end. Its' been almost 4 months into internship and days never got better from constant bloating and increasing urge to smoke.
Anyway the idea of writing another mentally straining post came about when I received/noticed two things yesterday. I received an email with regards to this earn-and-learn program that is sponsored by the local government school. It is about signing up for a bonus of $5000 to study and work at the same time. I have no idea how their system works because inscrutable me couldn't read more than twice to ensure whatever information written is processed. In brief, its a program dedicated to low GPA scorers like me. Therefore I figured that its imperative for me to attend the interview, which may or may not determine a seat for me in poly.
In short, I am basically fucked.
Damn I sure slack hard during my school days.
That brings me to the second thing - observation. I decided to take Grab home right after delivering those cheques. Essentially the location had free shuttle buses that transport office workers to the nearest MRT station but I passed it. Never mind why I spent $12 for a shared ride. I was glancing out of the window when I saw many office workers standing and waiting for their buses. Each equipped with their phones eyes glued to the screen. I can't help but notice the miserable look in some faces. About half of the people were middle age aunties and uncles dressed professionally. And the rest were young adults, perhaps new to the workforce. Little did they know, in a blink of an eye, we'll soon be old, miserable and sad.
After graduation, you decided to take a little time off to travel around the world. Say 4 months till school re-opens. Those who have no interest in perusing higher studies would have to work... Right? Supposing you were born with a silver spoon in your mouth, whatever you want to work on, chances are your parents will approve. (Note this is only a minute description of how I view the entire work system, no harm intended) Perhaps you wanted to study elsewhere, overseas, and your parents are kind enough to be the source of financing. In short, the only thing they worry about is working in a geographically beautiful yet high paying location. Safe. Your financing source are saved for life.
And then there are the other people who were taught to fend for themselves since birth. Kids who doesn't have their own bedroom, "neglected" by parents because they have to work indubitably in order to provide for the kids. These are nice people, they taught you money saving values and to be independent by earning their own income. She was just 14 years old when she took her first job/assignment as a salad maker at Raffles Place. For a week, she wasn't even paid a single dime because they "claimed" she was too young to work. Fuck. She felt so angry and cheated, but couldn't tell her mom. She was at that point afraid that her mom may scold her for being stupid enough to work for free.
Since money had always been an issue in the Hong's family, (my dad's bankruptcy followed by a ton of bills to pay) my parents worked so hard every day to make ends meet while I had to fucking work in order to provide for half of the things they couldn't give me. Which is a great thing btw, they are the essential source for financial education. Taught me never to fucking beg for money, nor borrow from anybody else.
To think about it, working in the office everyday of your life till your brain or heart gives in. Surrounding a bunch of manipulating colleagues who also struggles to make ends meet. Thus the workforce never taught us to be merciful or kind to one another. We simply fucking forget values taught in primary and secondary school because all we want now is money. And in order to get money or a raise, think, what would one quarter of the office employees do.
My supervisor might be the best supervisors out there, but for those who didn't know, is a manipulator. All that for a piece of reward - money. And maybe the like-able of her boss. However interesting it may sound, I shall narrate her story once my internship is over.
Drifting further away from the topic and time. To simply put, I hate that given a second chance, I couldn't perform well in school. Thus landing me in a situation where I had to start adding more vocabularies into my resume in order to sound competent. Given another chance, I want to go back to school, whilst not working and studying in another company no better than the first.
Why God, why?