The Letter that she had written me was sitting on the dining room table in a standard white Envelope. It was mixed in with today’s mail that I hadn’t opened yet. Her letter wasn’t in the mail box; she had slid it under the door while I had been at work.

Part of me wanted to read it over and over again. Hang on to every word that she scribbled on to the paper. Something deep inside wanted to understand her and think that every word communicated was truth, the answer, a gospel of sorts.

The envelope was under a coupon magazine that promised 25% off my next dry cleaning bill and buy one, get one free biscuits from a fast food restaurant that was on the Kentucky side of the Ohio River. Even though it was only 15 minutes away, I hadn’t been to Kentucky since I dropped her off at her house for the last time. There wasn’t really a point.

I cleared the table so I could eat my dinner and pretended not to think about the envelope that was now sitting on the kitchen counter. My fork moved from my plate to my mouth slower than usual. The pain was enjoyable. I didn’t want to climax.

Wheel of Fortune was on TV and though I hadn’t watched it since I had lived with my parents over a decade earlier, I sat through the entire competition. Steve from Salt Lake City was who I rooted for. He didn’t seem like he would vote for Mitt Romney and he treated all of the other contestants like they were family. Only hands claps were emitted when he spun the wheel. No cliche phrases were uttered.

Steve lost because he couldn’t solve the “Before & After” puzzle without needing to buy a vowel. Unfortunately, he went bankrupt on his last spin and Margot from Des Moines easily solved the puzzle. “Bare Foot Ball” she screamed at the top of her lungs. She lost in the bonus round.

I’m not sure why I bought a California King, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. It took up the entire room. I didn’t even sleep in the middle of the bed. It took too much effort trying to go to the bathroom at 5am. I slept on the right hand side where she use to sleep. It didn’t smell like her anymore.

At some point during the night I had brought the envelope in to my bedroom and while I was getting ready for work I propped it up against the bathroom mirror. Since she had hand delivered the envelope it wasn’t addressed any which way nor was there a stamp in the top right hand corner. It just said my name in the middle. Her hand writing was sloppy. It could have said any one's name.

When I went to leave for work I found another envelope under my door with my name scribbled on it. I looked through the peep hole. No one was there. For some reason I decided to open this envelope immediately. There wasn’t even a letter inside, just a yellow post-it note that said “Disregard the first letter”.

At that point I decided that it was time to read the first letter. The cursive was scribbled but I could make out most of the words. I found it to be a bit confusing though as the name that was written in the salutation was not mine and she had never told me that she had cheated on her previous boyfriend.