DAY 57
This particular NYE started shaky. As much as yesterday was glorious, the frustration somehow spilled out until the wee hours of the 31st. I just got extremely upset after reading some messages of the girl my ex-boyfriend cheated on me with. Even more so that she is still in the picture after everything that happened. I thought it was just a mistake but she is systematically doing things to take advantage of the situation. Literally no remorse for someone who wants to be a humanitarian. Although I do see the angle of being desperate for affection to "throw herself" into anybody as what my ex-boyfriend pointed out, I also felt so much pity of how little understanding they have of life and love. And pity is such a waste of emotion to dwell on since that doesn't change things and circumstances for myself and other people.

If logic prevails, I actually do not need this set-up. I can move on with my life and be happy as I am not broken to begin with. I don't think my ex-boyfriend realizes that and me agreeing to work it out is already something I am doing not for myself but for us (and maybe even for his mom). Therefore this little inconveniences that happens to be in a form of a girl who sleeps with people who she knows are in relationships is something I do not have time for. And that is why I'm upset: knowing that I could have spared myself this frustration had my ex-boyfriend not fly to Manila to get back with me when he is clearly not ready. I don't need a girl who thinks she is better than me to not even consider my feelings, who thinks she is cool enough to give relationship advice to a relationship that she broke off in the first place. And I don'r need a boy who thinks there's nothing wrong with that until you point it out. WAY. TOO. EXHAUSTING. This is why we need emotional damages. Fcking hard work.

To top it all off, I dropped my phone on the beach and dropping that phone was actually the happiest highlight of the day because somebody picked it up and kept it until my friends helped me out in getting it!

And more good things.

Tiffany watching fireworks for the first time also made me very happy. She is definitely one of the few people who feels things more than an average person and having an awakened woman for a bestie is something I am very grateful for. Of course, we both have issues and have different ways of coping with them but I am happy to make sense of life with an authentic person who sees the world the way I do.

DAY 58
2017 IS HERE. And my ex-boyfriend feels again!

The first night of 2017 was spent having fun while taking care of a roofied girl in a party. Some people can be disgusting that is why sisterhood solidarity is very important.

DAY 59
We missed the boat going back and I wanted to kill Tiffany for it. But life gives you lemons regardless if it's the second day of the year. And you just deal with it. What made me happy despite everything is my friends being able to put up with my introvert attitude problem. I really hate being surrounded by crowds all the time and I tend to be snappy when the concept of personal space is repeatedly violated. I'm a firm believer that the idea of business class seats was started by an introvert and that there is such a thing as introvert tax.

DAY 60
Back in the hood. I woke up earlier and by early, around 12PM. I showed my ex-boyfriend my go-to hangout spot when I was a teenager and he liked it. Sure it's disgusting from its face-value, but when you really "see" the place, like really "see" it, it becomes special. And that's exactly how I view our relationship. After everything that happened, everyone will think that our relationship is a sh*tshow, but there's something more to it than being volatile. It still merits a gold star just by the sheer amount of love and compassion put into it.

And Today X Future, being the sh*t place that it is, still has it, people.

DAY 61
Last day in Manila.

I got my 2017 planner. YAY! I actually got 2 planners and I had to choose this one because the Belle de Jour one is too bulky. I also got a 30 DAY HAPPINESS CHALLENGE box which I will start this Friday.

Cocktails in Blind Pig are beyond shmazing. Really thankful for one call away friends who, despite all their personal issues, will be there for you no matter what.





DAY 62
Back in Bangkok and my landowner gave me a 2017 creme brulee as a gift.

I also got to scout some places to move in by February and finally signed a contract for the first. Look at how promising the place is! I've never really had an apartment of my own until now. Usually, I get to have roommates or opt for studio type apartments as I never really commit to a place to call home for long. This is why this is a big deal for me because I get to pay the price of independence and adulting as what should have been the case long time. Moving out (without roommates) is one of my 2017 goals and here it is unfolding as early as the first month and I am so excited to furnish my place with second-hand stuff on craigslist.