I feel rushed. That makes life really Stressful. There isn’t anything immediate that needs to be done but it’s the feeling of what’s to come that is really stressful. That stress turns to lazy and shutting off from everything.
I’m trying to cope but the ever present potential for failure seems to be back in full force. Some days I’m better at deal with this but lately isn’t been pretty bad. I try to keep it all in check by ensuring I’m doing the most and the best that I can to prevent the X bad thing from happening. Unfortunately, I feel like lately I have not been putting my best foot Forward. This may not even be the case but I can’t stop my brain from seeing other people as always putting their best feet forward. This will then quickly turn into feelings of inadequacy which makes me incredibly unsure of myself ultimately resulting in me screwing up more than I otherwise would have.
All that said, I find I have made huge progress in improving myself. These improvements are specific and very minuscule, even to me. But these improvements needed to happen. I need to bring up all my stats up in order to be better overall. So I am still proud of my progress no matter how simple. It just also happens to not be enough.
You could say I’ve been in a bit of a funk. This happens occasionally, I just stop doing everything productive and am just alive and breathing for a while. I let my self wallow in whatever misery I think I’m in and then remember time is ticking away. I always get back into the groove of things small; 2 minutes of stretching, wash 2 dishes, run to the washroom, wrap my blanket, wrap a pair of clothes or clean a small corner of the house. Anything to just get starting again.
And then repeat.
This post first appeared on Realistic Optimism | Change Perspective, Change Li, please read the originial post: here