You’d think I’d have had time to write loads of posts on account of being Stuck inside all the time, but unfortunately, that’s not how it goes. So we’re stuck inside At least, most of us are. A bunch of countries (Including the UK, where I live) are on some sort of lockdown, and the outside world is off limit (aside from essentials.) It’s weird, and scary and unlike anything most of us have been through before. But it is most definitely for the best, and it’s just something we’re going to have to get used to for the time being. That doesn’t, however, mean that getting used to it won’t take some time. Therefore, I thought I’d give a little bit of a life update. The transition Previous Next I am definitely more of an introvert than an extrovert, and while this seems like this would be an introverts paradise, it isn’t at all. What I learned pretty quickly, is that there’s a big difference between not wanting to leave your house and genuinely being stuck inside it. And for someone who 1) is a massive overthinker, and 2) finds that most of her anxiety revolves around death and dying, this isn’t the funnest time ever. However, in the long run, it is 100% worth it. The privilege I keep having to remind myself of what a privileged position I am in compared to others. I’m not ‘high risk’, I’m living in lockdown with my parents and sister who I love and get along with dearly, I don’t have any life-depending bills at the moment, I have a garden to go out in when it’s sunny, and once all of this is over, I can leave my house as normal with nothing keeping me inside. There are far worse positions to be in, and if all I have to do is stay home for a little bit, then it’s honestly the least I can do. Whilst I am generally against the “other people have it worse” mentality and think it’s quite damaging, it is important to check your privileges from time to time. Especially at the moment. So, I’ve been trying to strike a good balance between acknowledging that my feelings are valid (Because regardless of our personal situations, we’re all still in the middle of a pandemic) and reminding myself that I still retain certain privileges. Most of us do in one way or another. And it’s important to be mindful of those while commenting on situations like this. I by no means am perfect at this, but I am trying to navigate my way around all this with that in mind. Previous Next The pressure I’m sure that in the past most of us have had those “If only I had time” moments. You know, the moments where you dream of a chance to stay in your house, free of obligation, and accomplish all the things you would “If only you had more time“. Well, now that a lot of us are stuck in our houses all day everyday with all the time in the world, it would seem like this is the perfect time. In theory, I suppose it is. But in practice, that’s not really the case. Believe it or not, not everybody works to the best of their abilities in the middle of a pandemic. What’s going on is terrifying, and like nothing we’ve encountered before. And whilst some are able to channel that fear and worry into other things, it is equally as valid to feel a little drained. There seems to be an overarching pressure to become your best self during lockdown. If you can, go for it! But – and I cannot stress this enough – everybody reacts to things differently. Do everything, do nothing, it’s really up to you and no one else. Just try to go with what your own mind is saying (Excluding things you are still required to do, obviously). The balance I’m very aware that we’re going to be here for a while, so I’ve been trying to establish some sort of routine. If I’m being quite honest, my moods have been all over the place… I go between trying to enjoy the time, to feeling hopeless, to feeling like I’m wasting my days, to being in some weird bubble of denial. Then I have to remind myself that this is the first big traumatic thing that I’ve lived through, and it’s okay if I don’t quite know how to handle it. As time moves on, and as things progress, I’m just trying to work to find a balance. Previous Next It’s not a case of pushing myself into a routine, or promising myself I’ll get certain things done. It’s more of a case of figuring out what really matters to me… Some days it’s the little things like getting dressed and spending some time with my family. Other days it’s bigger things like getting in some exercise, cooking fresh meals or working on my passion projects. Neither is wrong, and neither is right. It’s all a matter of feeling things out, and getting that balance in. The solution As I write this, none of us know when this ends, none of us know how much worse things are going to get, and none of us know what the aftermath is like. So it’s hard to see a real solution. The only real thing we can do right now is stay inside as much as we can, take each day as we can, and reach out to friends and family when we feel emotionally capable of doing so. That’s all I’ve got for now. Honestly, I wrote this mainly as a meanings of communicating what I’ve been feeling these last few weeks. This is a learning process for all of us, and something we’re all going through together. It’s scary, and it’s new and it’s incredibly confusing, but we’ll get there eventually. And hopefully, the celebration afterwards will be epic. Hope everyone’s doing alright. And feel free to dump […]
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