This article was written and ready to post as of a week ago. I wanted to write this article because of the pride I take in being a Father. Well, as of September 12th 2018 at 5:10 pm I am now a Father of two boys. All throughout this article I refer to guiding my firstborn son through life. I’m glad to say I now have the privilege of guiding two.
We all make decisions each day as to what “holds weight” in our lives. Growing up playing football in Florida, I learned quickly that many of my teammates grew up without their fathers in their lives. Fucked up upbringings influenced each one of them uniquely. In football, you learn many things about your teammates. It’s an interesting setting where you truly shed blood, sweat, and tears together. It has an interesting way of dismantling the walls we put between each other as individuals but specifically as men.
I try to reanalyze everything I have experienced throughout my life in search of lessons to learn from each experience. With my new perspective, I can revisit situations that I experienced and the lessons that were there that I did not initially see. I do not know if it was my lack of mental capacity at the time, a lack of understanding, or interest in other things that led me to not originally realize what I am able to today. Whatever the case, I can dredge up old experiences from many moons ago and learn from them today.
I search high and low for lessons that can be learned from previous experiences. I do this in order to become a better man today. Specifically, in the wild experience of Fatherhood. Forever etched in my memory is the day of August 21st, I was twenty-three years old and holding my Firstborn Son. I have pictures that speaks a million words, fuck a thousand that number doesn’t properly encompass the moment. I could feel a change within me on a cellular level. I knew that I would never be the same from that day forward. It was now going to be extremely important to raise my son the right way. This is something that many of my teammates never had the opportunity to experience. I would be damned if I were to not guide my son to the best of my ability.
Looking back into my past, one thing was clear to me. I had to be the father everyone wished they could have. I could see no other way. I knew in that very moment, it was now my job to raise the next generation of men to proudly represent our family name. Heading back to the beginning of this article, this was what I choose to “hold weight” every single day. I was blessed as a child to have that Father everyone wanted. When I look back we shared an immense amount of memories. Memories made that I can still look back on and smile because of to this day.
As Father’s that is our job, raise our kids in a way that progresses the evolution of human beings. I’m glad to say that I am much more intelligent today than I was the day my son was born. I had to be, it was by design. In order for him to ever be smarter than I am, I need to be able to provide him with a foundation that he can accel from. I read more today than I ever have in my life. I consume information like the internet will no longer exist tomorrow so that I can teach my son as he grows what it is that I have learned.
The best way that I can describe it is as follows. I have a lifetime of experience that I can impress into his infant’s brain. He may not be able to soak it all up now, but someday, he will be able to refer to that time dad told him about a similar scenario. With that knowledge, that I have given him he will be able to overcome situations in his life that he has lived already through me, his Father. I take great pride in being a Father. My son is truly the light of my life. With that said, it is my job to do everything in my power to equip him with the tools to succeed in life while I’m here and long after I’m gone.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but to me, that is the very essence of Fatherhood. This article is meant specifically for a first time Father. Like many things in my life, I was ill prepared to be a Father. I thought I had everything figured out prior to the birth of my son, I soon realized I didn’t know shit. It is okay to not know everything. When you embrace that you begin to see absolute change within yourself and your overall knowledge base.
As men, many of us struggle to admit when we do not know the answer to many of the problems life throws our way. I’m begging you, let that dumbass line of thinking go. Embrace the unknown, ask questions, be open-minded, trust me you will be better for it. I know I am. That is yet another thing that we can offer our kids as Father’s, perspective. The world could use more open-minded individuals there is no doubt about that.
I want you to think back to when you were a child. What did you want most? If it is within reason, provide that for your child. Whether it be a fun fishing trip with dad, dad to be more involved in the present moment, mom and dad to stop arguing, make it happen! That is not only our job but our duty to our children. We only have so much time to spend on this planet, what better way to spend it than trying to make sure your little one is learning to succeed before ever facing real adversity?
Character is something that is cultivated, keep that in mind. No real man raises his hand to a woman, no real man is a thief by trade, a real man has a moral compass that’s “true north” never fucking wavers. These are the things that I want you to keep in mind as we are all raising the next generation. Our Father’s before us spent time on morals. It is up to us to make sure that this continues. It is far too common today to meet someone with no morals or character. The world has been nerfed in a way that allows these people to exist. The only true way to overcome it, in my opinion, is to teach our kids what a good person is and should be. Don’t just speak it to them, lead by example and do not make excuses for your shortcomings.
Take a moment and think of the things that you wanted to know as a child. Take it a step further and teach your kids that. In my experience most every kid is curious by nature, embrace that. A child’s mind is the most malleable thing on the face of this planet, it is your job as the sculpture otherwise referred to as “parent” to make sure that it is a masterpiece. Spend time with your kids, love them unconditionally but make sure that you prepare them for all the potential life experiences they could encounter.
As Fathers, that is our fucking duty!