There's one thing I've always hated ever since I was a kid. Separation. I still remember how I cried every night when my dad went traveling to China, how I cried when I lost my precious pacifier when I was little, how I cried when I graduated high school knowing that what my classmates and I shared together was coming to an end, how I cried when I quarreled and lost my best friends, and how thinking about separating with my university friends in upcoming 3 years leaves a deep emotion in my heart.
I've been asking questions like "Why does fate bring us together even though we're going to be separated in the end?" As time went by, I started to realize that separation is not something I hate but rather something I fear of. However, I've started to learn that separation is like change. It's inevitable. No matter how much you love your parents, your kids, your family, your friends, or your partners, you'll be separated in the end. That's just a part of life.
Now, I finally understand why do I fear of separation. Simple reason. I couldn't let go. I couldn't move on. I get too attached, too comfortable with something to the point where if that something is taken away from me, I feel helpless. It's as if my heart is torn, leaving a big dark hole inside.
Growing up, I learn that separation is not something to fear of but rather something to be faced. Separation might be hard but we have to face the reality that everything which happened will finally come to an end. It's how we perceive and how we take care of it when it's still by our side that matter.
|although it hurts, sometimes letting go is what you need to do in order to find true happiness.|
To deal with separation, you first have to understand how to let go and move on. Letting go is not easy. It never was. I used to look back a lot, secretly wishing that time could rewind and let me re-experience some things from the past. However, I realized that it's so torturing to live in the present while my mind's still living in the past. Honestly, there are certain things which I couldn't let go up until now (why? Because I still couldn't figure out what did I do wrong) but I've successfully let go of so many things. So what exactly did I do, you may ask. For your information, everybody has their own ways of how to let go. I'll tell you my version (let's just assume we're trying to let go of a person after a break-up)
Firstly, ask for an explanation as to why they decide to leave. After receiving an explanation, let yourself cry, reminisce all the memories you once had. If possible, talk it out with somebody you trust most. Finally, find a way of how to get rid of the feelings (move on). This usually takes a long time. During the process of moving on, there will be someone new or someone unexpected coming into your life. By then, you'll feel like as if you have given up on love and this certain person will come into your life and make you believe in love again. You will try your best to ignore them because you still haven't let go of the previous one fully but you failed. You fell for them while you still haven't let go of the previous one. If you've reached this stage, you have to keep on reminding yourself that being like this will not only hurt yourself but also that certain person who's currently by your side. Can or not, you have to be able to let go and focus on the new person or else, you'll end up getting nothing but regret. Remember, regret always comes late. Remind yourself over and over again not to keep on loving and hoping for someone who has left. The past is meant to be a lesson and not an obstacle for you in order to obtain happiness. After several days, you should've successfully let go of your past. You'll still stalk their profiles but when you look at their profiles, instead of being sad, you smile, feeling relieved because you have finally let go of them and you will automatically sincerely wish them to be happy.
To conclude, Letting go is not easy. The steps I told you above, might not work for you. You have to find your own way of letting go and in order to find it, you have to go through several heartbreaks. The main question is, are you ready?